Iranian students follow protests closely: ‘It feels like my family is dying again every single day’

Darya and Navid follow the news from Iran day and night, while their family there lives in uncertainty. From the Netherlands they feel powerless, but staying silent is not an option. “If I were there, I would be the one taking to the streets and I would probably be killed.”

Darya Nikpayam and Navid were not born in Iran, but almost all their family still lives there. They grew up in the Netherlands and study medicine at Erasmus University. Yet they feel strongly connected to their parents’ country. “All the innocent people who are being killed there now deeply affect me”, says Darya. “It feels like my family is being killed every single day again.”

In early January, the protests against the Iranian regime reached a new peak. In dozens of cities, people took to the streets in large numbers. On those days, the highest number of deaths occurred since the start of the protests at the end of December. For Darya, those days were almost unbearable. “On Instagram, you see videos of people who have been killed. Young and old, in the most horrific ways. I have cried a lot.”

Guilt

Darya says she knows people who have been shot. She knows little about her own family. “Because of the poor internet connection, sometimes you hear nothing for days and don’t know how everyone is doing.” She regularly wonders what she would have done if she had been in Iran now. “If I were there now, I would be the one taking to the streets. And I would probably have been killed.”

Navid recognises that feeling and sometimes struggles with guilt about his life in the Netherlands. “We are free here, while there they have to give their lives to gain that freedom. If, for example, I have a birthday, I sometimes feel that I’m not allowed to be happy.” Besides the guilt, he also feels powerless. “There isn’t much you can do here, apart from speaking out on social media, signing petitions and going to demonstrations.”

Iran has been an Islamic Republic since 1979, in which religious leaders hold power. Criticism of the regime is punished severely. Political opponents, journalists and activists can be arrested, abused or sentenced. The recent protests arose from dissatisfaction with economic problems, social inequality and the lack of freedom.

No internet

To suppress the protests, the government completely shut down the internet and phone traffic in early January. “That’s the moment when you know terrible things are about to happen”, says Darya. “The regime doesn’t want the world to see what is happening.” For weeks they were unable to contact their family. They can now sometimes get in touch through indirect means. “But it’s very brief and far from ideal”, says Navid. “A lot is being monitored and it’s risky.”

Due to censorship, it is difficult to obtain reliable news from Iran. Domestic media are under government control. That is why Darya and Navid mainly follow foreign news channels. “There are three major channels we get our information from”, says Navid. “The largest is Iran International.”

According to Darya, Dutch media are doing their best, but they depend on limited information. “Iran is doing everything it can to push propaganda. As a result, the real situation is often underestimated.”

Difficulty concentrating

The situation in Iran is also taking its toll in the Netherlands. During her master’s research, Darya could barely concentrate. “Sometimes I couldn’t concentrate for days. I would often start crying out of nowhere and was very unproductive.” She tried to avoid the news, but rarely succeeded. “Often I just couldn’t resist looking.”

Darya and Navid receive a lot of support from friends and family. Contact with other Iranian students in particular helps. “They feel the same pain you do, and that makes you feel truly understood”, says Darya. But support from non-Iranian students is also important. “Especially when they express their support, for example via Instagram, I really feel heard.” Navid adds: “What also helps is turning the pain into action, for example by going to demonstrations and speaking out.”

Fear and hope

Yet that doesn’t come without risk. “You know you’re being watched”, says Navid. “Sometimes I doubt whether I should post my opinion online.” Often he does it anyway. “I feel it’s my responsibility to make their voices heard here.” Darya feels the same. “My fear cannot compare to what they are going through. The sadness and anger are too great to stay silent.”

Not everyone supports their resistance. Sometimes they meet people who defend the regime. “I find that disappointing”, says Navid. “Often those people are not well informed, and a conversation with us could help them understand the situation better.” Darya is clear: “It’s not complicated. People are being arrested, killed and sentenced to death because they are fighting for freedom. It is not difficult to choose which side you are on.”

Darya and Navid see a future for Iran only without the current government. “The country is devastated, the divide with the government is unsustainable. For the first time, Iranians are united: no one wants an Islamic Republic any more, but total change”, says Navid. They believe that change is closer than ever. “The regime won’t step aside easily, but I try to hold on to hope, because hope is precious”, Darya adds.