Is the whole world your homeland? This is how Rotterdam becomes your home

“Let me show you the city I’ve grown to love”, sings Rotterdam’s Hermes House Band at the beginning of their famous hit De Allermooiste Rotstad (The Most Beautiful Rotten City). Here’s a humble introduction to the most beautiful place in the Netherlands. So this city will be a little less unknown to you.

“The whole world is my homeland”, wrote Desiderius Erasmus (1466–1536). Or rather: ‘quaevis terra patria’ – the famous theologian and humanist actually wrote it in Latin. Of course he is the namesake of the Erasmusbrug, Erasmus University, Erasmus MC, Erasmus Magazine, Eetcafé Erasmus, and many other renowned places. He also sometimes called himself Erasmus Roterodamus, to make clear he came from Rotterdam. Will you be studying in Rotterdam from now on? Then you too are a Roterodamus.

Rotterdam (the most beautiful 'rotten' city there is)

Welcome to the city of contrasts. Tall towers with penthouses are rising up, and house prices are rising even faster. The wealthiest Rotterdammer, property billionaire Aat van Herk, has 2.2 billion euros in the bank. In that same city one in four children grows up in poverty; in some neighbourhoods a quarter to a third of people live below the poverty line. A city of dockworkers and yuppies, of a plain cup of coffee and matcha lattes, of endless chatting in meeting rooms and of people who get things done.

All kinds of Rotterdammers you’ll meet at the market – not in the Markthal. The market hall is really seen as something for tourists, especially the cruise ship tourists. The market though? It’s lovely: a huge bag of mushrooms, tomatoes and apples for next to nothing. Tuesday and Saturday on the Binnenrotte, Wednesday and Saturday on the Afrikaanderplein in Zuid.

Being overweight is bad for your health, but that hasn’t stopped the queues for a 1,800 calories kapsalon. The layered mix of fries, döner, cheese and salad, invented in Rotterdam in 2003, was ordered by our king at the end of June.

Language

Also, the Rotterdam dialect is the best of them all. Ja toch? Niettan? (‘Right? Or not?’) Most expressions are easy to get used to. If someone calls you een dooie met een dag verlof, they mean you’re painfully boring. The Rotterdam take on ‘al draagt een aap een gouden ring, het blijft een lelijk ding‘ (‘A pig with lipstick is still a pig’) is: je kan een hoop stront paars verven, maar ‘t blijft een hoop stront – ‘you can paint a load of shit purple, but it’s still a load of shit’. Pleuren means to fall, a bakkie pleur is a cup of coffee. Want someone to sod off? Then it’s: pleurt op! Things are almost getting out of hand? You’ll say: Dalijk breekt de pleuris uit. By the way, you live op Zuid, but in Noord.

People sometimes say Rotterdammers love nicknames. The Erasmusbrug would be called De Zwaan (‘The Swan’), the central station Station Kapsalon (because it looks like the aluminium tray used for kapsalon dishes, and it rhymes), the Euromast would then be De Spriet. Let this be clear: nobody, absolutely nobody in Rotterdam actually calls the Erasmusbrug De Zwaan (or uses any of those other silly nicknames), only outsiders. These are the only two nicknames you need to remember: de Kuip (the stadium of football club Feyenoord) and the Koopgoot, this underground shopping street is officially called the Beurstraverse.

Rotterdammers speak with a wet T, a huge dose of sarcasm and an even bigger portion of honesty. Want more Rotterdams on your Instagram timeline? Follow, for example, Sharon uit Crooswijk, Lotte van Eijk, the Rotterdamse Poetsqueen, or Romano de Legende. You’ll laugh and learn to speak a bit of Rotterdam Dutch.

Working-class city or a cultural hub

Rotterdam is known for its port. From 1962 to 2004 it was even the largest port in the world; it is still the biggest one in Europe. With goods and people arriving from all over the world, Rotterdam has become an international city. More than 170 different nationalities live here. That is why Rotterdam has both a Summer Carnival, an official commemoration of the legacy of slavery, a celebration of Chinese New Year, the World Port Days, and much more.

Want to explore Rotterdam’s cultural offerings? Then this is the single most important tip: get the Rotterdampas. Going to the cinema? Getting an ice cream? To the theatre? Museum? Sports class? Massage? A night out at a club? You can do it all with discounts or even for free. The pass costs 20 euros per year for students, and the year runs from 1 March until the end of February – you can join halfway through. You’ll get to see four films for free straight away, because we have that many cinemas here. And don’t forget: a cinema ticket is normally 13.20 euros, so you’ll quickly earn the cost of the pass back.

Football

In football, the working-class city and the cultural side come together. Feiiiiënoooord is the city’s biggest club. You actually write it like this: Feyenoord. Then there are Excelsior and Sparta. You’ll notice Feyenoord is bigger and therefore more present in the city. And since you now have a connection with Rotterdam, that also means you’ll develop an inexplicable and bloodboiling hatred for that one club from 020, also known as Abcoude-Noord (two nicknames to avoid mentioning our nation’s capital by name). Feeling your stomach already turning a little? Congratulations, then your integration into becoming a Roterodamus is really on the right track.