Loneliness among students: ‘Relationships out of desperation don’t work’

“You are not alone, and you’re not the only one feeling this way.” That’s the message one student wants to share with others. It’s a response to an article about the widespread loneliness among students. According to the student wellbeing monitor at this university, 58 per cent of EUR students experience loneliness at some point.

It’s not just students who feel lonely. A staff member writes: “The problem with being a lonely international is that it’s more about survival. It’s not as simple as meeting up with other lonely internationals; relationships born out of desperation don’t work.”

Loneliness is an issue for both Dutch and international students, but being far from home makes it even harder. “For the first few weeks at Erasmus, I was so lonely. I found it difficult to cope with the distant Dutch culture and to make new friends”, one student shares. Joining an association turned out to be the solution, where lifelong friendships were formed. “Honestly, nothing has ever felt so good.”

Breaking through loneliness can be tough, says another student. “Loneliness is my comfort zone. While I long for meaningful friendships, I feel overwhelmed by the process of finding them. Even though I’ve convinced myself that I’m fine, a growing part of me wants someone to break through that wall of isolation.”

“Loneliness is a communication problem, not a lack of people around you”, argues a Psychology student. The notion that only introverted people are lonely is, according to this contributor, a misconception. You can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. “Communicate what’s important to you”, is their advice.

If you’ve tried everything already, here’s one last tip from another student: “The massage chairs in Langeveld cure depression.” We’ll see how long the queues get now that autumn has begun.

And remember, there are plenty of numbers you can call if you just want to talk. On campus, you can drop by the Living Room (also in Langeveld). A student counsellor is always available to help if you’re feeling stuck.