Campus Talk: ‘I bought you a drink, why don’t you do what I expect of you?’

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That sexual transgressive behaviour covers a broad spectrum is clear from the
students’ reactions. “It already starts with words, it doesn’t even have to be a
specific action”, says psychology student Greta Gaupels. Jakob Hofmann, a
student of Economics and Philosophy, describes it as any behaviour that a party
perceives as undesirable. He himself has never been harassed, but from the
experiences of others he has noticed that this goes hand in hand with so-called
transactional behaviour such as: “I bought you a drink, why don’t you do what I
expect you to do?”

Criminology student Latisha Heijnsbroek says she regularly feels unsafe when,
for example, she is shouted at in the street. “And I think a lot of women
experience that”, she adds. Anouk de Sevaux (Psychology) also recognises this.
“If someone drives by in a car and shouts something at you like ‘sexy girl’,
especially at night, it does make you feel really uncomfortable”, she says.
“Sometimes you get the feeling that you are being ‘undressed’ because
someone is looking at you in a certain way. But girls usually ignore it, because it
happens so often”, she continues.

Consent

So how do students deal with the boundaries of others? For Jakob, it’s simple:
“Just ask: can I do this, is this okay?” Nawin Ramcharan, a Public Administration
and Sociology student, believes that body language is also an important factor.
When asked whether the students have ever asked themselves if they have gone
too far in the past, Anouk laughingly replied, “I don’t think I’m that aggressive
myself.”