I carve a way under the railway line, where written in blue in tiles it reads ‘here the road carves a way under the railway line’.

The sun puffs up her cheeks it seeks to sing a song, it goes: hello boy on the bike on the vase with the flower etcetera. A cloud creeps comically past.

Even the seagulls are in a good mood one flies low over and around me. He kindly shrieks me a thought “shriek shriek” he says. I take a deep breath and scat back ba da ba di ba di ba di ba di boep. Ba da ba di ba di bap bá ba diep báá! the theme of Ornithology I think it might amuse him, silence from his part he flies away.

Everything has rhythm-energy-form: context. Everything dances. Everything dances like things often dance for me, I dance along on my bike look mom no hands I am listening to jazz, allegro ma non troppo un poco maestoso, the sun, the clouds are dancing too.

Did this feeling spring from my medical residency that finished today, that flows like holy water from the Rhine where the Rheingold is found, water dirty and alive like the water from the Hofplein fountain no. No.

How to describe my experiences it often feels like talking to walls, looks are able to kill I often ignore them. It is too busy, too busy to chitchat but I am a chitchatty person how else does one get through life, I once took the time to chitchat with a patient I spent a good half an hour we talked about his origins and we talked about mine I really made a connection. Back to the screen.

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Chemotherapy

Medical student Dino Gačević has embarked on his foundation programme this year. Each…

The assessments are intense people pierce your soul or look right past you it makes it emotionally demanding, I wonder wasn’t I concise enough or perhaps too much? Was I motivated were patients satisfied did I act according to my morals? Was I easy to get on with did I show respect for others’ beliefs did I let the patient speak their soul did I disregard the lab values? The assessments were often disappointing there was a big factor of randomness you hear it a lot it seems to be common perhaps it’s artistically intended the Dadaists accepted it as a basic principle.

Medical internship is not like water it does not flow, it is large blocks of shifting time in which you try to show what you’re made of, for some people it’s fine mainly those who pretend to be unbothered whatever but (!) few people have a sense of joie de vivre people have no idea of an elevating medicine in the artistic sense perhaps medicine isn’t intended to be ‘elevated’ how does one even shape it but I refuse to deny that it exists and that it is a goal in and of itself whatever to hell with it. I see someone’s kin at the mortuary that I pass for the last time dry their tears in the sun and in their eyes I see the Rheingold. God, please love these lovely people. God what a lovely day to die. What a lovely day it is.

It’s such a lovely day.