I feel like a child who has realised that Punch is no more than a piece of fabric across some old dude’s hand. When he asks us in a loud voice if we wish to see Judy, I know that he is pulling a fast one on us, that there is no Judy and that she is merely his other hairy hand. But even so I yell at him to show us Judy, simply because it feels like I am supposed to.

Joining in because you know you are supposed to, even though you are aware you are having your leg pulled – that’s what voting feels like. You are expected to do it, and you cannot not do it, but at the end of the day, voting is a mere formality distracting us from the fact that parties end up not doing the things the people want them to do.

Smooth talk

I could have voted for any party, really, because every party promises us the world. Yes, I do want to have more money, and no, I do not want the retirement age to be pushed back even farther. I do not wish to feel unsafe, and I wish everyone the very best, provided that such is not going at my expense. However, I do not want to vote for someone who merely agrees with me on everything. I want to vote for someone who can actually deliver on his promises.

Moreover, I don’t want party leaders to become my new best friends. I don’t want to know that a leader loves Chihuahuas or that he thinks it is perfectly OK to eat children’s biscuits in bed even though he is all grown up. Every once in a while I want to hate him for not lying, because the truth hurts. I don’t want him to flirt with me, nor to win me over with his smooth talk. I don’t want to hear another thing from him until he is ready to start talking sense. And most of all, I don’t want to pity him when I see him on TV looking all dejected again because, for reasons beyond his control, he had to break yet another election promise.

I want to see politicians stop putting on an act. I want them to throw away their puppets. I want them to get up, draw the curtain and show us their real faces. When that happens, I will cheer like a child.

Moo Miero is a student at Erasmus School of Law