Backstreet Boys and ‘pink stars’ in De Regenboog

An evening at the gay pub De Regenboog (or: The Rainbow) will teach you two things: it’s a wonderfully cheery place, and extra lube is crucial for anal sex.

This latter fact is clearly stated in the loos of this convivial pub, which is perhaps best described as an après-ski bar for gays. A poster on the wall instructs guests on how to put on a condom, adding that extra lube for anal sex is “absolutely essential”.

So, an evening in De Regenboog is definitely a learning experience. And a fun one too, with a few surprises thrown in for good measure – like when a warm hand is laid on the back of Your Humble Narrator to indicate that someone would like to move past him.

Look into my eyes

In other pubs any small gesture like a pat could easily make things turn nasty, but here it seems to be a good way of getting some extra physical contact. The ambiance is never tense and everyone seems to be smiling, especially the bartender, who looks very deeply into his guests’ eyes. I would suggest keeping your eyes down.

Call me Captain Obvious, but the majority of the guest singing along with the Spice Girls and the Backstreet Boys are male this Saturday night. And there’s another thing: everyone knows the lyrics and everyone joins in.

There’s not much room in this little café where you can drink cloyingly sweet shots with names like “pink star”. I can’t help noticing a tough-looking lady partying at the bar – she and her well-tattooed friends are clearly having a riot of a time.

But that’s not to say there aren’t any pretty girls – there certainly are, although they are few and far between and cling tightly to their gay best friends. Here they can enjoy an evening without attracting unwanted attention, an evening in a safe haven.

By the way, that evening lasts until two in the morning, when the place closes and everyone crosses the road and sways, en masse, into De Unie, which is run by the same owner, leaving the mirror balls, feather boas and Backstreet Boys behind.

I just can’t get that one piece of advice from the toilets out of my head.