No moderate drinkers allowed. Punters preferably leave the Kralingen café Hoekzight on all fours.

At least, that’s how Ramon – tanned, even in winter – sees it. “We serve tea, but only if we have to. This is where you let your hair down. No moderate drinkers here, that’s our slogan.’’ His café is known as the best bar in Kralifornia.

That sounds wrong, but Hoekzight is slightly wrong. On the wall, there’s an outrageous but homely living room wallpaper. Next to the flat screen, there’s a portrait of Erasmus, and above the bar there’s a bell that you can ring to buy a round for the bar. Ramon: “Things aren’t quite right here.”


'Put your pants back on'

And that’s why Hoekzight is so well known. Mainly among students, members of the corps in particular. Members regularly come into the pub, dozens at a time. No member of staff looks askance when a freshman appears trouserless at the bar. “It’s pretty standard, so after a couple of hours we say: OK, that’s enough, put your pants back on. Then we’ve had enough.”

Things can get wild, very wild. Ramon keeps tight-lipped to make sure no one gets done. However – see the smirk – it’s always fun when Victoria’s Secret recurs as the theme of a student party. The ideal opportunity to score, apparently. In the old fashioned way, at the classic bar. Or afterwards, when the party moves on to a club house. As long as you’re no moderate drinker, obviously.


Going home on all fours


Ramon emphasises it again: from his pub, you go home on all fours. “One rule: if you need to vomit, do it in the bushes.” And who’d blame him, when he’s got a urinal shaped like Rolling Stones lips, and where just around the corner, a life-size poster of a pin-up lady warmly greets each toilet visitor. Too nice to use.

Mind you, after a few hours in the Hoekzight, you might well be tempted. Nowhere would it be less of a scandal.