The only way I can defeat chaos

During Christmas, I skimmed through Angela Duckworth’s book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. In the book, she mentions that studies show that what predicts a person’s success in life is not talent; it’s perseverance and passion. Apparently, the people that make it in life are the ones who put all their energy into doing a perfect job yet don’t emotionally crack under pressure.

Even though I dislike neglecting science with anecdotes, I couldn’t help but feel bitter when a personality assessment I did for a job said that my main weakness was resilience, the cousin of perseverance.

My anger stems from the fact that companies seem to want two different people in one. They want a hard-working perfectionist who doesn’t let any detail go unnoticed and always delivers on time. In other words, a control freak. On the other hand, they also want a laissez-faire entropy worshiper who is never stressed out but thrives in an unpredictable environment. A Buddhist surfer. Before gene manipulation becomes mainstream, I can’t help to find these demands a tad naïve. It’s like the 21st-century corporate version of the Madonna and the whore dichotomy. Pick one, Procter and Gamble!

I must accept that Angela Duckworth has a point. As a control freak, I hate to admit it, but life will not always respect the plan I’ve carefully written in my Leuchtturm 1917 Notebook. If I do not become more resilient and learn how to bend without breaking, I may never get an internship, and then life will lose all its meaning. Yet, I cannot lie in interviews and say:

“Yes, I thrive in environments where I can never finish the tasks I’m paid to do because I just got another ‘EMERGENCY’ email, and I haven’t even finished my three other ‘EMERGENCY’ cases yet!”

But maybe there’s a middle way. It’s hard for a control freak to change her initial fearful response when uncertainty bangs on the door. However, as Viktor Frankl says: “Between the stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space lies our freedom and power to choose our responses.” 2023 might be the year I should try filling that space with resilience. It seems to be the only way I can finally defeat chaos.