{"id":631,"date":"2017-02-13T15:34:20","date_gmt":"2017-02-13T14:34:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/?p=66121\/"},"modified":"2026-02-10T17:13:43","modified_gmt":"2026-02-10T16:13:43","slug":"in-het-hoofd-van-mijn-zusje-zelfdoding-onder-studenten","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2017\/02\/13\/in-het-hoofd-van-mijn-zusje-zelfdoding-onder-studenten\/","title":{"rendered":"‘I want to break the taboo around mental illness and suicide’"},"content":{"rendered":"
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24-year-old Utrecht university student Vivian had plenty of dreams, plans and ambitions. So why did she decide to end her life? Her sister, filmmaker Ingrid Kamerling, went in search of an explanation for her sister\u2019s suicide. On Monday evening, the documentary \u2018Vivian Vivian\u2019 [In het hoofd van mijn zusje<\/em>] will be shown in Kino. Kamerling hopes the documentary will get young people to talk about suicidal thoughts and mental problems. An interview about her search and about the second main cause of death among young people<\/a>: suicide.<\/p>\n

The documentary focuses on \u2018why\u2019. Did you get an answer?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cIn a way, yes. I spent years working like a detective asking the question: what could have happened? In the course of my investigation, I spoke to over forty people, from loved ones from a distant past to people who had passed through Vivian\u2019s life. Thanks to this, I got a good picture that comes close to getting the answer to \u2018why\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlthough at first I thought that it had been a very conscious choice, as is often thought in cases of suicide, in my search I discovered that it wasn\u2019t such a conscious choice at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Still uit 'In het hoofd van mijn zusje'<\/span><\/p><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>

Why did you feel the need to make a documentary about your search?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI was still studying at the Art Academy when I started to collect the initial film shots. Eventually, for \u2018Inside my sister\u2019s head\u2019, I combined the images from my detective work and the more poetic images I created later. I felt the strong need to record it, but I didn\u2019t know exactly how it would turn out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDuring my search, I talked to friends and colleagues of Vivian\u2019s. They told me about the great pressure and stress they experience: that they sometimes get bogged down too. When it became apparent that my personal story contained many universal themes, I decided to show the film to the public.\u201d<\/p>\n

Why should students in particular see this documentary?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI want to break the taboo that exists around mental illness and suicide. Vivian didn\u2019t look like someone having mental problems at all \u2013 even if it was possible to see them. So everyone was terribly shocked. Like many young people, she was ashamed to share her doubts. We need to banish that shame. Vivian thought that vulnerability was dangerous, but the huge interest in the film shows that there is a need for these stories.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Still uit 'In het hoofd van mijn zusje'<\/span><\/p><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>

According to the Dutch National Students\u2019 Association (ISO), there are very few student psychologists at universities. What role do universities play in breaking the taboo?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThe universities certainly bear a great responsibility, but above all so do students themselves. Don\u2019t just focus on each other\u2019s successes, but support each other when things aren\u2019t going so well. Be willing to show your vulnerability and discuss your anxieties and doubts.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suicide is difficult for suicidal people themselves to understand. How did you manage to portray these thoughts?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThe thoughts in the mind of a depressed or suicidal person are often intangible and difficult to describe. By creating a montage of images and sounds, you can portray how it feels when you\u2019ve reached an impasse. One person said that I\u2019ve exactly portrayed the feeling of a psychosis, while another person recognised it as depression. Although I consciously didn\u2019t give it a name, it seems very recognisable for many people.\u201d<\/p>\n

Watch the trailer of \u2018Vivian Vivian\u2019:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n