{"id":5608,"date":"2015-12-24T10:19:45","date_gmt":"2015-12-24T09:19:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/?p=44174"},"modified":"2025-12-19T11:22:19","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T10:22:19","slug":"kerstverhaal-de-gouden-herfst-van-arizona","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2015\/12\/24\/kerstverhaal-de-gouden-herfst-van-arizona\/","title":{"rendered":"Christmas story: Arizona’s golden autumn"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n\t\n\n<\/svg>\n<\/span>\n\tImage by:<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tEsther Dijkstra<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>

John and Mary lived in a large and tastefully decorated\u00a0house in Phoenix, Arizona. He was a somewhat stiff\u00a0man who wore dark blue trousers with a dead straight\u00a0crease. His wife was five years his junior. She was a\u00a0morning person who was out walking in her pink trainers\u00a0at 7am. She\u2019d read in a magazine at the dentist\u2019s that\u00a0it took ten thousand steps a day to keep a person\u2019s bones\u00a0strong. People tended to train their muscles, but not their\u00a0bones. Mary walked fast, two hours a day, then did some\u00a0stretching in the living room. Her husband was not interested\u00a0in such matters.<\/p>\n

John had been an accountant with a large accounting firm\u00a0and had inspected an oil company\u2019s books for years. His work\u00a0had taken him all over the world \u2013 to Brazil, India, France. His\u00a0wife had joined him on several of those trips, and they\u2019d added\u00a0a holiday at the end. As a result, they had a photo of the\u00a0two of them on the beach in Tulum, Mexico. Mary was wearing\u00a0a straw hat, while John was wearing the expensive sunglasses\u00a0Mary had given him on his birthday.<\/p>\n

That had been\u00a0three years before his retirement. They\u2019d spent the night in\u00a0a cabana, the Caribbean at their feet. A dark red hammock\u00a0had been tied between two trees, but both John and Mary\u00a0had preferred lying in the deck chairs which had been put on\u00a0the white beach for them every morning. While he\u2019d read a\u00a0book by Stephen King, she\u2019d leafed through magazines and\u00a0read about stars\u2019 troubled love lives.<\/p>\n

They\u2019d been married\u00a0for 35 years themselves, and their marriage had not been\u00a0without its share of trouble, either. John had had an affair\u00a0with a young woman who had worked at his department, not\u00a0his secretary. She had long legs and gorgeous dark brown\u00a0hair \u2013 chestnut-coloured, as the Italians say. That had been\u00a0years ago, though. The wound had healed; she\u2019d forgiven and\u00a0forgotten. Yes, she did think they were happy, and she was\u00a0looking forward to the years ahead, the years of plenty.<\/p>\n

She\u2019d\u00a0decided to stop working once John retired. Mary didn\u2019t care\u00a0about her work as much as John did. She worked at an optometrist\u2019s,\u00a0where she performed eye measurements, but\u00a0her work was not her priority. Their mutual friends were, and\u00a0the many dinner parties they gave at their home or on the\u00a0green lawn, which John still mowed every weekend.<\/p>\n

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\n\t\n\n<\/svg>\n<\/span>\n\tImage by:<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tEsther Dijkstra<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>

They had no children. Somehow they\u2019d remained childless, back when science wasn\u2019t as advanced as it is now.\u00a0These had been the darkest years of her life, and John hadn\u2019t\u00a0always been very understanding. He\u2019d been too busy to understand\u00a0her. He\u2019d been occupied with reports and annual reports,\u00a0even if he wasn\u2019t actually holding the papers. His head\u00a0had been filled with numbers, there was no room for anything\u00a0else. \u2018She\u2019s in a weepy mood again,\u2019 she\u2019d once overheard him\u00a0tell David, their neighbour.<\/p>\n

That was the moment she\u2019d decided\u00a0never to cry in her husband\u2019s presence again. She\u2019d become\u00a0a different woman in those years, a true iron lady. You\u00a0could tell from her face, which had hardened. Her friends,\u00a0who\u2019d had kids and were inseparable from their offspring,\u00a0had avoided her. They\u2019d feared the witch with the angry eyes\u00a0she\u2019d become.<\/p>\n

At age 40, Mary had looked in the mirror and decided that\u00a0she couldn\u2019t go on like this. She\u2019d made an appointment with\u00a0a psychologist, a man with long hair, who\u2019d given her two\u00a0pieces of advice: to stop suppressing her pain and to go travelling.\u00a0That spring she\u2019d left for China and gone on a retreat\u00a0in the Yellow Mountains.<\/p>\n

By the time she came back, the hardness\u00a0had left her face, but her husband was seeing a woman\u00a0who was in her early thirties and liked everything about him.\u00a0She\u2019d found out right the first evening. During dinner she\u2019d\u00a0picked a long, auburn hair from his jacket. \u2018Whose is this?\u2019\u00a0she\u2019d asked, not suspecting a thing, only for John to start\u00a0stammering and seemingly choke. A long and difficult year\u00a0had ensued. Mary and John had climbed the rocky road of\u00a0marriage, but they\u2019d managed to stay together. He\u2019d promised\u00a0he\u2019d never hurt her again.<\/p>\n

Now they were both in their seventies; he was nearly eighty.\u00a0The years of plenty, of infinite time, of one season visibly\u00a0morphing into the next. The grand summer morphing into\u00a0Arizona\u2019s golden autumn.<\/p>\n

However, one day John had been dropped off at home by\u00a0the police. He\u2019d taken his Toyota into the wrong lane and had\u00a0driven a long way against the flow of traffic. He\u2019d almost been\u00a0home by the time two police officers had forced him to stop.\u00a0John had pulled over on the side of the road\u00a0and had politely\u00a0asked the two men how he could help them.<\/p>\n

Mary knew at once that this was serious. There had been other\u00a0signs: John putting his keys in the fridge, John towelling\u00a0himself off with his pyjamas. \u2018What are you doing?\u2019 Mary had\u00a0asked as she\u2019d watched him do it in the bathroom. \u2018I\u2019m towelling off,\u2019 John had replied. She\u2019d laughed and thrown him\u00a0a towel. Over the weekend he\u2019d walked into the back yard to\u00a0mow the lawn, only to end up at the supermarket.<\/p>\n

They\u2019d seen a neurologist, who had subjected John to a few\u00a0tests. \u2018Apple, table, door,\u2019 the man had said. \u2018Can you repeat\u00a0these three words for me?\u2019 John had repeated the words,\u00a0but just a few minutes later, he no longer remembered them.\u00a0Not even when Mary prompted him. \u2018Apple,\u2019 she said. \u2018Table\u2026\u2019\u00a0John had looked at her. He\u2019d seen that she was desperate,\u00a0but had been unable to do anything about it.<\/p>\n

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\n\t\n\n<\/svg>\n<\/span>\n\tImage by:<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tEsther Dijkstra<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>

On the way home she muttered, \u2018Oh, John, please don\u2019t do\u00a0this to us.\u2019 The neurologist had told her that her husband\u2019s\u00a0short-term memory was impaired and that he was having difficulty\u00a0doing familiar things. John had stayed in the corridor\u00a0while she was talking to the doctor. He got up at once when\u00a0she emerged from the doctor\u2019s office. \u2018So?\u2019 he asked. \u2018Did\u00a0they have one in your size?\u2019<\/p>\n

In the car Mary took a deep breath and said, \u2018We were seeing\u00a0a doctor just now. A neurologist.\u2019
\n\u2018Yes,\u2019 was John\u2019s only answer.
\n\u2018He thinks there\u2019s something the matter with your memory.\u2019
\n\u2018There\u2019s nothing the matter with my memory. I graduated in\u00a01959 and met you three years later. We married in 1965. On\u00a0the second of June.\u2019<\/p>\n

He was right. It had been a warm day, an unforgettable day.\u00a0More than a hundred people had attended the party. Mary\u00a0had looked stunning. She\u2019d worn a tight dress with a shiny\u00a0bodice, as well as lace knickers. Her father had wept as he\u2019d\u00a0given her away. She was John\u2019s now. John, who\u2019d had a lovely\u00a0straight back and a moustache, too, in those days. Oh, the\u00a0details she remembered about their wedding day! The colour\u00a0of the garlands, the sunflowers which had sat on the tables,\u00a0how badly her feet had hurt. Even the sound of the alarm\u00a0clock which had woken her. She remembered it all.<\/p>\n

For a moment,\u00a0she wanted to discuss it with John, but she was afraid\u00a0he\u2019d only remember the date, the number.
\n\u2018Do you remember you had a moustache?\u2019 she asked, despite\u00a0herself.
\nHe turned his head to his wife, who was driving the car. \u2018Of\u00a0course I remember,\u2019 he said. \u2018And I also remember how beautiful\u00a0you were, how desirable. I married the prettiest girl in\u00a0the country.\u2019<\/p>\n

They embraced while waiting for a red light to turn green. No\u00a0other cars were behind them. They allowed the light to turn\u00a0green while continuing to hold each other.<\/p>\n

Two weeks later, in a thorough examination at the hospital,\u00a0the neurologist\u2019s suspicions were confirmed. John turned\u00a0out to have Alzheimer\u2019s. He\u2019d be able to remember numbers\u00a0from days gone by for a while to come, along with the withdrawals,\u00a0the revenue, the dividends, the number of employees\u00a0in France. They\u2019d all been in the reports he had signed\u00a0off on. However, other types of information were mercilessly\u00a0slipping through the gaps in his memory \u2013 names of people,\u00a0places and the flavours he\u2019d always picked at Papa\u00a0Ed\u2019s Ice\u00a0Cream, lemon sorbet and black cherry vanilla.<\/p>\n

Mary had notified all their friends of John\u2019s condition.\u00a0She\u2019d cried during the first phone call, but once she\u2019d rung\u00a0everyone, she felt relieved. Her good friend Noreen, whose\u00a0husband had passed away two years earlier after a long period\u00a0of illness, came to visit her.<\/p>\n

They drank white wine and\u00a0reminisced about the time they\u2019d been at school together.\u00a0They hadn\u2019t been classmates \u2013 Noreen was a year older \u2013 but\u00a0that\u2019s when they\u2019d become friends.<\/p>\n

\u2018What was the name of that handsome guy in Grade 12?\u2019
\n\u2018The one with the red coat?\u2019
\n\u2018Yeah. He was a dish.\u2019
\n\u2018Brian.\u2019
\n\u2018No, Brandon.\u2019
\n\u2018Right. Brandon Bains.\u2019
\nIt was as if she was on her own already, as if they were both
\nwidows. John was in bed, either watching TV or asleep already.
\n\u2018How are you?\u2019 Noreen asked.<\/p>\n

She said that she was having a hard time, but that they were\u00a0still experiencing moments of beauty together. Just the day\u00a0before, they\u2019d sat in the back yard together, looking at the\u00a0emerging stars. She\u2019d held his hand and squeezed it.<\/p>\n

Alzheimer\u2019s develops at a different rate in every patient.\u00a0Mary dreaded the day John would no longer know who she\u00a0was. The doctors had told her that this moment might still be\u00a0months off, but the very next day, John was terribly confused\u00a0when Mary returned from her morning walk, the ten thousand\u00a0steps she took every day to strengthen her bones. He\u2019d\u00a0forgotten where the loo was and had wet himself. She took\u00a0him to their bathroom and fetched him some dry clothes. \u2018It\u2019s\u00a0OK,\u2019 she said. \u2018I\u2019m your wife and I love you.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\n\t\n\n<\/svg>\n<\/span>\n\tImage by:<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tEsther Dijkstra<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>

It took weeks rather than months. Three weeks, to be exact.\u00a0Once those weeks were over, John no longer recognised his\u00a0wife. He was nice to her and didn\u2019t mind her sitting next to\u00a0him on the sofa, but he couldn\u2019t remember her name. He had\u00a0no idea who this woman was with whom he\u2019d lived for over\u00a0half a century. The disease devoured his memory and left\u00a0nothing in its wake \u2013 a dirty, greedy monster.<\/p>\n

Mary decided to go on on her own. Some of their friends\u00a0thought this was heartless. It\u2019s not what John would have\u00a0wanted, they said, being put away in some home. They talked\u00a0about her behind her back, but Mary found out through Noreen.<\/p>\n

\u2018They don\u2019t understand,\u2019 she said in response to what Noreen\u00a0had told her. \u2018Nor can they.\u2019<\/p>\n

John was completely altered from the man he\u2019d used to be.\u00a0He\u2019d become a different person. Life had treated him well,\u00a0and he\u2019d thoroughly enjoyed it. Now all of that was gone, vanished,\u00a0forgotten. Their wedding day, their splendid home. The\u00a0travels, the dinners, the white beach at Tulum, his wife and\u00a0her straw hat. She\u2019d spent the most beautiful days of her life\u00a0with him, but now she would have to start afresh. She knew\u00a0she could do it. She\u2019d had to give her life new meaning when\u00a0she and John had turned out to be unable to have children.<\/p>\n

Mary visited her husband a few times at the Banner Alzheimer\u2019s\u00a0Institute. The visits seemed to last for ever. They no\u00a0longer shared beautiful moments. An old woman named\u00a0Jenny called John her best friend. The head of the ward told\u00a0Mary that the woman visited John in his bedroom at night\u00a0and dropped her\u00a0clothes on the floor. Did Mary mind? She\u00a0shook her head.<\/p>\n

The next time she said goodbye to John, she knew she would\u00a0not be back. She left the building through the sliding doors\u00a0and walked to her car under the delightful sun of Arizona.<\/p>\n\n\t

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De redactie<\/h2>\n\t\t\n\t\t
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