{"id":171836,"date":"2024-09-26T13:32:45","date_gmt":"2024-09-26T11:32:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/?p=171836"},"modified":"2025-12-19T11:27:29","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T10:27:29","slug":"how-a-fake-student-untangled-himself-from-his-web-of-lies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2024\/09\/26\/how-a-fake-student-untangled-himself-from-his-web-of-lies\/","title":{"rendered":"How a fake student untangled himself from his web of lies"},"content":{"rendered":"

For years, Job van Ballegoijen de Jong pretended to be a student, caught up in his own lies and not knowing how to stop. Now he has written a book about his experiences. \u201cI want to show others that you can still land on your feet.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Job van Ballegoijen de Jong.<\/span><\/p>

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But he wasn\u2019t passing his exams. Job was a \u2018fake\u2019 student. It all started before he even went to university, he writes in his book Morgen vertel ik alles: hoe ik mijn studie bij elkaar loog <\/em>(I\u2019ll come clean tomorrow: How I Lied About being a student<\/em>). Because he also wasn\u2019t telling the truth about his homosexuality.<\/p>\n

He was just good at lying, Job explains. \u201cI\u2019m quite an empathetic person, so I\u2019ve got good instincts about what information I need to share with people. And I discovered that people tend to accept lies quite easily \u2013 it didn\u2019t require a lot of effort.\u201d<\/p>\n

People don\u2019t look for the right signs, he thinks. \u201cWe expect liars to be insecure, incoherent and indecisive. My lies were always well prepared, which allowed me to back them up with a lot of confidence.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t

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\n\t\t\u2018I started lying to fit in\u2019\n\t<\/blockquote>\n\n\t<\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n

But in the end, his web of lies ended in a tangled mess, as the story of his life became riddled with plot holes. Being a professional liar is hard work, as Job\u2019s book shows: \u201cI had to make sure no one I knew was in the classes I claimed to be in, so I wouldn\u2019t be found out.\u201d<\/p>\n

And what could he say to fellow students about the professors he never saw, or about the exams he hadn\u2019t taken? He had to do research on the subjects he wasn\u2019t taking, collect amusing anecdotes and put in an appearance at the faculty from time to time \u2013 all in all, a rather exhausting work schedule.<\/p>\n

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Job van Ballegoijen de Jong's book \u2018I\u2019ll Come Clean Tomorrow: How I Lied About Being a Student. Publisher: Atlas Contact.<\/span><\/p>

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The first person you lied to about your studies was your mother, when she asked you if you had passed your exam. You hadn\u2019t, but you told her you had. Why didn\u2019t it stop there?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I was embarrassed. First because I had failed my exam, and then about the lying itself. And the shame just got worse and worse, so I was too scared to tell the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n

You also write in your book that you had a history of lying before that.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI did. When I first came to Leiden for my studies, I was already lying about my sexuality. So I was hiding a fundamental part of my identity \u2013 who I was attracted to. I was 18, a late developer and not the most masculine person, and I joined Minerva, a student union with a dominant masculine culture. I came from a troubled family with financial problems, whereas most of the other members came from upper-class backgrounds. It felt like there was no room to be different. Of course, I should\u2019ve just said, \u2018This is me, deal with it\u2019, but instead I started lying to fit in. It also had to do with insecurity.\u201d<\/p>\n

This all happened twenty years ago, when it wasn\u2019t as normal to talk about mental health as it is now.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd we lived in a more homophobic society back then. There was also a cold wind blowing through academia. The consensus seemed to be: don\u2019t blame society if you don\u2019t make it, because it\u2019s your own fault. I think that cold wind is still blowing today. I\u2019m often asked why I started lying, but not how I was driven to lie by society and the education system, which I do find frustrating.\u201d<\/p>\n

What do you mean by \u2018cold wind\u2019?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you start, you\u2019re immediately told that you have to get enough credits. And if you don\u2019t, you\u2019re out. The way they communicate is very formal and harsh. When I realised that I wasn\u2019t going to make it, I didn\u2019t feel like I had anyone to turn to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fake students have received a lot of attention in recent years. Do you think that has helped?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t have exact figures, but I think there are more of them now than there used to be, so that\u2019s why we\u2019re hearing about them more often. There\u2019s a stronger focus on mental health, but you also hear that a lot of students feel lonely. And loneliness breeds fake students.\u201d<\/p>\n

Things have changed in those twenty years: a few weeks ago, you spoke about your experiences at a mental health awareness day organised by your old student union.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThat was really special, and it\u2019s a positive sign. There\u2019s no way a day like that would have been organised during Minerva\u2019s pledge week 20 years ago!\u201d<\/p>\n

Your book ends with a number of tips for students and educational institutions: talk to each other about your problems, keep an eye on each other\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re open doors, but unfortunately they\u2019re still relevant.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2026 but you also think that educational institutions should call students who have dropped out to check in on them. And that they should reach out to students who keep switching programmes.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI understand that educational institutions have limited resources, but I got almost no credits for two years in my medical programme, switched to history and then to law, and barely passed any of those classes either. You hope that someone\u2019s going to notice, but that\u2019s where the educational institutions are really falling short.\u201d<\/p>\n

At the end of his unsuccessful studies in Leiden, Job landed an internship at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs \u2013 thanks to a lie. But it was also a fresh start. Not much later, an administrative issue forces him to come clean to his mother about the fact that he hasn\u2019t been studying. She demands that he confess his lies to everyone else he knows.<\/p>\n\n\t

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After that, Job gives it another go as a law student, this time in Amsterdam. And without the mental pressure of lying, having to keep up appearances and shame, studying doesn\u2019t seem as hard. After graduating, he spends 10 years working as a lawyer in Amsterdam\u2019s Zuidas district, before joining a company that helps finance lawsuits.<\/p>

You could have put all of this behind you. Why do you want everyone to hear this story, which is often painful?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cTo help others who are in the same situation. I used to hear gossip about fake students sometimes, and I\u2019d think: that\u2019s how they\u2019ll talk about me when my lies come out. I think it would\u2019ve helped me a lot to have an example of someone in the same situation who still landed on their feet.\u201d<\/p>\n

You even considered ending your life at one point.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, that was one of the options. Telling people I\u2019d been lying seemed impossible, and emigrating seemed like a lot of hassle.\u201d<\/p>\n

A while back, there was a documentary about another fake student in Leiden, who did end up committing suicide.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWhich is awful, because you can get through it. That\u2019s why I say: talk to your housemates, try to avoid making room for so many lies. Talk about your grades, including the bad ones \u2013 especially the bad ones. Maybe you can save someone from falling into a dark hole. Basically, you could save someone\u2019s life.\u201d<\/p>\n\t

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Do you need help? Contact your student counsellor or go to Pretend Student<\/a>.<\/p>\n

If you are having suicidal thoughts, call 0800 0113.<\/p>\n\n\t<\/div>\n\n\t

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