{"id":163982,"date":"2024-02-08T13:03:11","date_gmt":"2024-02-08T12:03:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/?p=163982"},"modified":"2025-12-19T11:27:10","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T10:27:10","slug":"waking-up-in-the-chabot-museum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2024\/02\/08\/waking-up-in-the-chabot-museum\/","title":{"rendered":"Waking up in the Chabot Museum"},"content":{"rendered":"

After a long night of dancing and drinking, I always take a stroll to the Chabot Museum in the morning. Maybe I like being there because the walls are so white. The villa is quiet and the roller blinds are always down. The volunteer behind the desk doesn\u2019t say a word to me. She only gives me a wink. I love the stairwell, the respect it commands. I only take off my sunglasses when I\u2019m standing directly in front of the big red painting depicting a sea of flames over expressionistic fields.<\/p>\n

\"\"

\n\t\n\n<\/svg>\n<\/span>\n\tImage by:<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tPauline Wiersema<\/a>, \t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tLevien Willemse<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>

If I were allowed to touch the paintings, I would trace the lines with my fingers, so I could experience the decisions made by Mr Chabot. His emotions stand out from the surface. If I were to make a painting, I would want it to be entirely flat. I would make an effort not to see any shadows.\u00a0Yesterday I stood waiting for a taxi in the shadows: \u201cSo nice you\u2019re only wearing your leotard.\u201d I gave her a smile and had to make an effort to see her eyes. But otherwise no words passed between us.\u00a0A boy once told me that glitter and sweat were running down my cheeks. We looked at each other over that gleam and turned circles around each other. But yesterday I was all by myself, above the crowd on a pedestal. I closed my eyes because I didn\u2019t want to see the flashing light. Each stroboscopic moment can reveal a look of disapproval or envy. Nothing gleamed any more when I was in the taxi. It was too dark for that.<\/p>\n

No matter whether I stay in every night or walk from my lectures to a bar and on to a club, the next day the Chabot Museum with its rough paintings and white walls will still be there in the same place. I make eye contact with the volunteer when I walk out again. Grey clouds have been hanging over Rotterdam the past few days. The sky has pulled down the roller blinds. For a short while there are no shadows. I quietly breathe in the sunless air and walk on.<\/p>\n\n\t

\n\t\t\n\t\t
\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

Read more<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t