{"id":155612,"date":"2023-06-05T11:25:51","date_gmt":"2023-06-05T09:25:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/?p=155612"},"modified":"2025-12-19T11:26:49","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T10:26:49","slug":"a-great-deal-of-pride-and-a-little-apprehension-thats-what-its-like-to-be-a-parent-of-a-first-generation-student","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2023\/06\/05\/a-great-deal-of-pride-and-a-little-apprehension-thats-what-its-like-to-be-a-parent-of-a-first-generation-student\/","title":{"rendered":"A great deal of pride \u2013 and a little apprehension. That’s what it’s like to be a parent of a first-generation student"},"content":{"rendered":"

More uncertainty, feelings of depression and stress: recent studies mean the experiences of first-generation students are well documented. But what is it like for the parents when their child goes off to higher professional education or to university? Research on the topic is sparse. Which is why Erasmus Magazine<\/em> spoke to eight parents about their experiences.<\/p>\n

\"\"

\n\t\n\n<\/svg>\n<\/span>\n\tImage by:<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tMigle Alonderyte<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>

Black newborn lambs graze under trees with white blossoms next to the converted farmhouse. In the back garden, a neighbour is getting two donkeys and a small carriage ready to make their usual rounds. Normally, Hay Keijsers (68) would go with him, but today he is sat in the living room with his wife Mien Keijsers (67) at their home in the village of Horst in Limburg. Mien sets a few slices of Limburg cherry pie out on the table. The windowsill is adorned with family photos of their three daughters who grew up here, including Loes Keijsers (40), professor of Youth and Family at Erasmus University.<\/p>\n

I came here not just for journalistic purposes, but for personal reasons too. Like my own father and mother, Hay and Mien are parents of three first-generation university students. Unlike their children, they did not attend higher professional education or university. Last year, I spoke to my father, a carpenter, about what it was like for him when all three of his children went into higher education. It was only a brief conversation, with my father sitting awkwardly on the couch in my old room at my parents\u2019 house. \u201cYou know this makes me nervous, don\u2019t you?\u201d, he said, when I pressed the start button for the audio recording.<\/p>\n

Beyond the borders of the Netherlands<\/h2>

Whether he was just nervous because of the recording or because of the topic of conversation, either way it made me even more curious about the perspective of parents of first-generation students.<\/p>\n

Thanks to recent studies, we know that first-generation students generally experience a harder time at university or a university of applied sciences, says Jana Vietze, associate professor of Youth and Family at Erasmus University. She believes that although these students are often highly motivated and adapt well to new circumstances, they are often more uncertain about their academic skills, feel less at home in an academic environment and are more likely to experience feelings of depression and stress.<\/p>\n

But what is it like for parents when their child goes off to university or a university of applied sciences, a world that is completely unfamiliar to them? Do they run into certain problems as well, and how do they feel about that?<\/p>\n

To find a scientific answer to these questions, I not only have to look beyond the borders of Erasmus University, but those of the Netherlands \u2013 almost no research has been done on this topic here. A few scholars at the university have pointed me to an American study carried out by Casandra Harper (and colleagues), associate professor of Higher Education at the University of Missouri. She examined the ways in which parents of first-generation students are involved with their children during their student days at college in the US, which is most similar to Dutch higher professional education and, in some cases, university.<\/p>\n\t

\n\t\t

Because so little research has been done on this topic, EM spoke to eight parents for background purposes. Not all parents are featured in this article, their experiences have been used as background information. In two portrait articles, which will be published alongside this article, first-generation students discuss this issue with their parents.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\t<\/div>\n

Pride<\/h2>

\u201cParents are incredibly excited and full of pride when their child goes to college\u201d, Harper says. \u2018Proud\u2019 is also the first word that comes to Hay and Mien\u2019s mind when they think back to when their daughters went to university. And it\u2019s not just them: all the parents EM spoke to say they are especially proud of their children. \u201cI think it\u2019s remarkable if you\u2019re able to learn better than most other people\u201d, my father said last year.<\/p>\n

Some even feel vicarious joy, Harper adds. \u201cMany parents in my study were not able to attend higher education, but nevertheless wanted to\u201d, she explains. \u201cThey are very happy that their child does get to have that experience.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<\/svg>\n\t\t<\/button>

\n\t\n\n<\/svg>\n<\/span>\n\tImage by:<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tMigle Alonderyte<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>

Born in the wrong time<\/h2>

Several parents EM spoke to said they would have liked to pursue higher education. Mothers in particular reported being born in the wrong time \u2013 and sometimes place. So did Mien, who grew up in a farming family in the small village of Veulen in Limburg. After boarding school, her parents wanted to send her to a school for home economics. \u201cMy parents believed that women should take care of the household and that\u2019s it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t

\n\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t
\n\t\t\u2018I would have loved to go to university back then, but that wasn\u2019t common for women in the village at the time\u2019\n\t<\/blockquote>\n\n\t<\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n

But because of her high grades, she went to secondary technical school. She eventually started a large modern mushroom farm with Hay, who also grew up in a farming family and went to agricultural school, where she was responsible for keeping the books. \u201cI would have loved to go to university back then, but that wasn\u2019t common for women in the village at the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

It did lead to Mien encouraging her daughters to go to university. \u201cWe told them: do something you\u2019re good at and you enjoy. There should be no distinction between men and women\u201d, she says. \u201cI am very proud that my daughters did go to university.\u201d<\/p>\n

Uncharted territory<\/h2>

University is uncharted territory for many parents of first-generation students. It made Sita Baldew (55), the mother of Rashmi (21), a master\u2019s student in Media and Creative Studies, feel apprehensive at first. \u201cI was a bit nervous about my daughter going to university because it was unfamiliar to me\u201d, she says. Sita herself trained as a secondary school teacher in her native Suriname and worked in a childcare centre in the Netherlands. \u201cIt was new for her \u2013 but for me, too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t

\n\t\t\n\t\t
\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

Read more<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t