{"id":151284,"date":"2023-03-01T15:14:27","date_gmt":"2023-03-01T14:14:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/?p=151284"},"modified":"2025-12-19T11:26:40","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T10:26:40","slug":"i-feel-the-most-ukrainian-ive-ever-been-how-one-year-of-war-has-changed-iryna-and-vitalii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2023\/03\/01\/i-feel-the-most-ukrainian-ive-ever-been-how-one-year-of-war-has-changed-iryna-and-vitalii\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018I feel the most Ukrainian I\u2019ve ever felt\u2019: How one year of war has changed Iryna and Vitalii"},"content":{"rendered":"

Friday 24 February marked exactly one year since Russia invaded Ukraine and the war began. Iryna Matsiuk (Economics and econometrics) and Vitalii Zharinov (Communication and Media) discuss how they feel being away from their home country.<\/p>\n

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\n\t\n\n<\/svg>\n<\/span>\n\tImage by:<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tAlisa Mahaletska<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>

The day of the invasion<\/h2>

\u201cI knew they had invaded before I woke up\u201d, Vitalii recalls. He had a dream the night before the invasion and knew something was wrong as soon as he woke up. Checking his phone at around five in the morning, he saw all the texts and news headlines. The next few days were surreal for him. \u201cI had a constant rush of adrenaline for at least seven days in a row. I think there were seven days in a row that I protested across the Netherlands.\u201d<\/p>\n

Iryna had been on a phone call with her friend the night before; she had just had her last exam and was ready to relax. \u201cI stayed up late and talked to my best friend, who was in Ukraine.\u201d Keeping her phone on silent for the night, she did not realise anything had happened until she woke up. \u201cIt was surreal. It only dawned on me when I started seeing all the videos of missile attacks. Of course, I was scared.\u201d<\/p>\n

The new 'normal'<\/h2>

At the moment, Iryna\u2019s parents are safe in their home in Kyiv, while her grandmothers are staying with extended family in the United States. She calls her family almost daily now and sometimes even twice. Iryna explains: \u201cI\u2019m probably less scared now, even though the threat remains. But, of course, it\u2019s still hard. I understand that hundreds, probably thousands, of people are still going to die; My family and friends are still there, and you never know who the next person will be, and that\u2019s scary.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Econometrics student Iryna is optimistic and scared at the same time.<\/span><\/p>

\n\t\n\n<\/svg>\n<\/span>\n\tImage by:<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tAlisa Mahaletska<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>

Iryna accepts the state of things, but remains hopeful for her country. \u201cOn the other hand, a year ago, I didn\u2019t know whether I would still have my country. Now I\u2019m much more certain, Because I feel like we\u2019ve shown the world \u2013 and not least ourselves\u00a0\u2013 that we can fight back.\u201d<\/p>\n

Vitalii\u2019s parents are also safe in Kyiv, and he is managing to keep in contact with his family as much as possible despite the power outages. He explains that \u2018death has become much closer to me; I\u2019ve discussed death with my family and friends in Ukraine\u2019.<\/p>\n

However, Vitalii remains an active community member \u2013 trying to advocate for the Ukrainian people by attending demonstrations and moving on with his life. \u201cI think we\u2019ve all learned we should continue living our lives, having fun, being energetic, striving for our goals, because that\u2019s what they (Russia) wants us to stop doing. So, I\u2019ve continued living.\u201d<\/p>\n

Coping mechanisms<\/h2>

In times of despair, it can be challenging to manage your emotions. During the first months of the war, Iryna felt guilty. \u201c I remember going outside in Rotterdam for the first time after the invasion, and people were happy and normal. I felt guilty that my family was in a different situation only a two-hour flight away.\u201d However, Iryna\u2019s parents are happy that she is safe, and that reassures her. \u201cI feel like I need to put as much effort into my studies as possible, because studying is a privilege. I appreciate that it all the more now and try not to feel guilty about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

For Vitalii, the news took its toll on his mental health. \u201cIt was a tough time for me, because I was constantly reading the news from February till June; I don\u2019t think there was a single day I did not read the news. I felt such exhaustion from that. I was so sick of the news that I stopped reading it for two months.\u201d Ignoring the news while focusing on trying to keep in touch with his family improved his well-being.<\/p>\n

A different mentality<\/h2>

Both Vitalii and Iryna say that their priorities have shifted because of the war. Like most other students, Iryna\u2019s biggest concern used to be studying and doing well in exams. \u201cI realised that studying hard is important, but it\u2019s not my biggest concern. Many of my friends in Ukraine can\u2019t go to university in person because of blackouts and the lack of bomb shelters. I\u2019m making the most of my opportunities and try not to worry about exams too much. Grades are not the most important thing in life.\u201d<\/p>\n

The war sparked a lot of empathy in Vitalii: \u201cI just learned to empathise with people who are suffering and support them.\u201d The amount of support for Ukraine from world powers inspired Vitalii to continue to advocate for his country, \u201cIf I\u2019m sitting at home and feeling down, I\u2019m not the better version of me that can help my country \u2013 maybe even the worst version. So I just try to keep going, because then I know that I can give something back.\u201d<\/p>\n

Freedom and independence<\/h2>

Vitalii was never as patriotic as he is now. \u201cI feel the most Ukrainian I\u2019ve ever felt. I now know what my people stand for. However, I always knew that freedom and independence are in our blood. We would never live under occupation.\u201d Vitalii explains he is ready to go back home. \u201cThere\u2019s so much potential in our country, thanks to its people. When the war is over, we\u2019ll start rebuilding. The future is bright, and I hope to be part of it one way or another.\u201d<\/p>\n

Iryna still has two years left to complete her bachelor\u2019s programme, but she looks forward to beginning her life in Ukraine as soon as she is done. \u201cI love my country, and it\u2019s still my home. I\u2019m hopeful that after we win \u2013 and I truly believe that we will \u2013the entire country will change. I want to be part of that change.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t

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