{"id":150421,"date":"2023-02-14T13:14:44","date_gmt":"2023-02-14T12:14:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/?p=150421"},"modified":"2025-12-19T11:26:39","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T10:26:39","slug":"an-open-conversation-with-students-about-flirting-fluid-love-and-friends-with-benefits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2023\/02\/14\/an-open-conversation-with-students-about-flirting-fluid-love-and-friends-with-benefits\/","title":{"rendered":"An open conversation with students about flirting, fluid love and friends with benefits"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Love and relationships sometimes seem so complicated nowadays. Navigating dating apps, stages of relationships and the etiquette of gender-fluid love. How do students cope with that? Four students gathered in the Erasmus Love Lab, basically a living room with couches, chairs, heart-shaped pillows and dimmed purple lighting, to explain to two aging reporters that there ain\u2019t no ordinary love.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1131\" src=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/13153304\/love-lab-liefde-valentijn-love-Femke-Legue-1600x1131.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-150376\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/13153304\/love-lab-liefde-valentijn-love-Femke-Legue-1600x1131.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 1600w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/13153304\/love-lab-liefde-valentijn-love-Femke-Legue-875x618.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 875w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/13153304\/love-lab-liefde-valentijn-love-Femke-Legue-300x212.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 300w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/13153304\/love-lab-liefde-valentijn-love-Femke-Legue-1280x905.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 1280w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/13153304\/love-lab-liefde-valentijn-love-Femke-Legue-1536x1086.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 1536w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/13153304\/love-lab-liefde-valentijn-love-Femke-Legue-2048x1448.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 2048w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/13153304\/love-lab-liefde-valentijn-love-Femke-Legue-150x106.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 150w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/13153304\/love-lab-liefde-valentijn-love-Femke-Legue-225x159.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 225w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1600px) 100vw, 1600px\" \/><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">More about Valentine&#039;s Day<\/h2><ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2023\/02\/09\/love-is-in-the-eur-one-walk-by-leah-and-ferdi-led-to-many-walks\/\">One walk by Leah and Ferdi led to many walks<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2023\/02\/10\/love-is-in-the-eur-etienne-and-mijke-kissed-for-the-first-time-on-the-euromast\/\">Etienne and Mijke kissed for the first time on the Euromast<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2023\/02\/12\/love-is-in-the-eur-stephanie-and-derck-now-have-a-six-month-old-baby\/\">Stephanie and Derck now have a six-month-old baby<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2023\/02\/13\/love-is-in-the-eur-jan-and-tilly-have-been-together-for-over-50-years\/\">Jan and Tilly have been together for over 50 years<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2023\/02\/11\/love-is-in-the-eur-he-has-a-good-looking-hairdresser-and-ive-learned-a-new-skill\/\">\u2018He has a good-looking hairdresser, and I&#8217;ve learned a new skill\u2019<\/a><\/li><\/ul><p>Although the two reporters are each in a long-lasting, heterosexual relationship, the students were quite a bit more diverse. Joost (21), a History student, had a relationship for three years but is single now and identifies as bisexual but without the actual experience to back it up. Anne, 21 years old as well and a Psychology student, has been happily single for two years and is also looking to men and women as possible dates or friends with benefits. The 28-year old Psychology student Stefano hasn\u2019t been around on the dating scene much, but is exploring it now. He identifies as heterosexual but did take a look on the other side. And finally, 19-year-old Erasmus University College student Em identifies as non-binary and has been in an open relationship with a girl for four months now.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Elmer: Em, could you tell us a little more about your relationship?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Em: \u201cI\u2019m in a relationship with a girl I met at Erasmus Pride. It\u2019s probably the most fast-paced relationship I\u2019ve ever been in. She moved in with me even before we started dating. She just came to my house and never left.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Elmer: Wait, you didn\u2019t even know her yet?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Em: \u201cBarely. We met quite a few times before. It was complicated, I was in a different relationship at the time. That was an open relationship as well. I met her at the time I was thinking about breaking up, and we bonded over her ex and my soon to be ex. Trauma bonding is how a lot of gay relationships start, to be fair. It was during her Eurekaweek, so we had a lot of time to go out together. I broke up with my girlfriend and we just started spending all our time together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Anne laughs: \u201cThat is kind of how relationships between women go, very fast. It\u2019s kind of a stereotype to be honest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t<div data-name=\"acf\/quote\" class=\"align\" >\n\t\t<div class=\"\">\n\t\t\t<figure data-component=\"quote-with-author\" class=\"@container\">\n\t<blockquote class=\"text-md italic @2xl:text-xl @4xl:text-2xl text-purple\">\n\t\t\u2018If you put two women together, and put love and sexual tension in there, it just kind of explodes\u2019\n\t<\/blockquote>\n\n\t\t\t<figcaption class=\"flex mt-6 image:rounded-full image:max-w-[4.375rem] gap-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"mt-[1px]\">&ndash;<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"block text-lg font-tiempos-headline\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tAnne\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/figcaption>\n\t<\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<p><strong>Feba: Why is this, you think?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Anne: \u201cI find it hard to acknowledge differences between men and women because of, you know, feminism, but I did notice a lot of women are more open about their emotions and ways of thinking. If you put two women together, and put love and sexual tension in there, it just kind of explodes. That\u2019s my theory.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Elmer: Joost, you said you were bisexual but your long-lasting relationship was with a woman. Did you also have relationships with a man?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Joost: \u201cI never had a relationship with a man, most of the time I like women. But occasionally I think: that\u2019s an interesting man. But I never did anything with it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Elmer: Why not?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Joost: \u201cI\u2019ve never felt comfortable with being straight. Kids always called me gay, and that annoyed me because I didn\u2019t know what I wanted yet. And I remember other boys saying: \u2018I could never have sex with a man, or love a man\u2019, and then I started thinking about it. I never had the aversion that some men have. So from that point on I knew I was bisexual.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t<div data-name=\"acf\/quote\" class=\"align\" >\n\t\t<div class=\"\">\n\t\t\t<figure data-component=\"quote-with-author\" class=\"@container\">\n\t<blockquote class=\"text-md italic @2xl:text-xl @4xl:text-2xl text-purple\">\n\t\t\u2018We talk about everything, like: I\u2019ve had sex with this person or that person gave me an STD\u2019\n\t<\/blockquote>\n\n\t\t\t<figcaption class=\"flex mt-6 image:rounded-full image:max-w-[4.375rem] gap-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"mt-[1px]\">&ndash;<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"block text-lg font-tiempos-headline\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tJoost\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/figcaption>\n\t<\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<p><strong>Feba: How does it work nowadays, if you\u2019re in a relationship, when you get to know each other? Are there different stages and what do you call them?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Joost: \u201cWe have a name for everything in Dutch. If you start off with dating, you\u2019re called a <em>scharrel<\/em>, then you move to a <em>kwarrel<\/em> (quality scharrel), then a <em>prela<\/em> (pre-relationship) and then <em>rela<\/em> (relationship).\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Stefano: Do you guys actually discuss this with each other, like \u2018I\u2019m totally in a prela now\u2019?<\/p>\n<p>Joost: \u201cNo, not literally. But I\u2019m part of a student association, SSR-Rotterdam, so it\u2019s normal for us to talk very openly about this kind of stuff. We talk about everything, like: \u2018I\u2019ve had sex with this person\u2019 or \u2018that person gave me an STD\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Elmer: SSR has a magazine with a kissing ranking in it. How did you score?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Joost: \u201cHaha, not so high last time, but last year I scored a lot higher!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Stefano (laughs): \u201cI regret not being part of an association right now. I\u2019m very competitive so that would\u2019ve worked for me! To be more serious, dating has been difficult for me. I\u2019m quite reliant on dating apps, because in real life I have to figure out if another person is interested. I\u2019ve got autism, so situations occur in which I\u2019m blissfully ignorant about whether a person might be interested or not. In apps, if you have a match, the other person is probably interested. You don\u2019t have to take so much risk making somebody feel uncomfortable. It sounds much easier to be in an environment where dating is talked about in such an open manner as at SSR-R, which gives you the opportunity to discover what you really like in people.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>(The conversation continues below the frame)<\/em><\/p>\n\t<div data-name=\"acf\/featured-text\" class=\"md:mt-6 p-4 md:p-6 lg:p-8 bg-sand-300 theme-sand:bg-white theme-violet:bg-white theme-mocha:bg-white wysiwyg *:last:mb-0!\" >\n\t\t<p><span style=\"font-size: 1.6em;font-weight: 900;line-height: 1.23;font-family: Intro\">Increasing fluidity<\/span><\/p>\n<p>It is notable how none of the students in this conversation are necessarily aiming for the \u2018traditional\u2019 heterosexual, monogamous, long-term relationship. According to Daphne van de Bogardt, founder and project lead of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.eur.nl\/en\/essb\/information\/researchers\/research-themes\/youth-family-and-households\/intimate-relationships-love-and-sexuality\">Erasmus Love Lab<\/a>, this is not all new. \u201cMany young people nowadays question existing social norms about gender, intimate relationships, and sexuality. That is not new in and of itself, just think about the prior \u2018sexual revolution\u2019 in the sixties and seventies, but different periods have different specifics. As a sociologist, I am not surprised that after decades of increasing divorce numbers, the current generation of young people questions the meaning and desirability of long-term monogamous relationships or marriage. Combine this with the increasing fluidity of gender identification, and the prolonged stage of <em>emerging adulthood<\/em> (in other words, young people reach economic independence, stable housing, monogamous relationships, parenthood at increasingly later ages, if at all), and it makes sense that social norms about partnership, family formation and also sex are being deconstructed and reconstructed.<\/p>\n<p>Van de Bogardt sees this mostly as a positive development, but not without its challenges. \u201cIt may even have its advantages, because having to adhere to traditional, strict rules regarding love and sex can of course also be very difficult for individuals, and can be really risky for people\u2019s wellbeing. But it does create new challenges for today\u2019s youth. As a pedagogical scientist I also see in the stories of these students how important different social contexts are in this regard: parents, siblings, peers (such as student organizations but also partners themselves), popular media and digital technologies are tremendously important locations where they encounter different values and opinions about love and sex. What young people need, perhaps now more than ever, are the tools to navigate these exciting times for the deconstruction and reconstruction of gender and relationship norms, so that they can find their way toward healthy and happy intimacy and sexuality.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t<\/div>\n<p><strong>Feba: How about you, Em, how is dating handled in Erasmus Pride?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Em: \u201cIt\u2019s true that associations offer more opportunities, since it\u2019s probably easier to count the members that I didn\u2019t kiss in my association than the ones I did. When everyone is sort of gay, a lot of tension is going in all different directions. There\u2019s also a lot of drama because of that. Everyone is someone\u2019s ex-girlfriend\u2019s ex-girlfriend. But everyone is open and kind to each other.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Feba: How do you navigate dating within a student association if you\u2019re gay?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Joost: \u201cIn an association, you\u2019re almost like brothers and sisters, so it becomes weird sometimes. There were always gay people around in traditional associations and that was fine. But in my <em>dispuut<\/em> we have eight men, and the majority of them is actually gay. Which I think is new.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Anne: \u201cIn my <em>jaarclub<\/em> half of the members are gay in some form, so we have our own community. I know which women I can kiss, heterosexual women as well, that\u2019s kind of how it goes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t<div data-name=\"acf\/quote\" class=\"align\" >\n\t\t<div class=\"\">\n\t\t\t<figure data-component=\"quote-with-author\" class=\"@container\">\n\t<blockquote class=\"text-md italic @2xl:text-xl @4xl:text-2xl text-purple\">\n\t\t\u2018I got cold feet before I met up, and for me that\u2019s when I knew I wasn\u2019t attracted to guys\u2019\n\t<\/blockquote>\n\n\t\t\t<figcaption class=\"flex mt-6 image:rounded-full image:max-w-[4.375rem] gap-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"mt-[1px]\">&ndash;<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"block text-lg font-tiempos-headline\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tStefano\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/figcaption>\n\t<\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<p><strong>Feba: Stefano, how would you describe your sexual orientation?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Stefano: \u201cI\u2019ve tried to figure out where my sexuality lies, I think the easiest answer is straight. I\u2019ve tried to figure out whether I was gay. So I set up a date for myself with a man. But then I got cold feet before I met up, and for me that\u2019s when I knew I wasn\u2019t attracted to guys. So I\u2019m mostly straight, but I did have moments with people who are non-binary. I don\u2019t know how to define it, it\u2019s a bit fluid.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Anne: Em, I had a question about your open relationship, what are your rules?<\/p>\n<p>Em: \u201cAs long as I\u2019m your most important person, and you don\u2019t sacrifice your time and energy on someone else, it\u2019s fine. I\u2019m not really a jealous person, as long as my own needs are met. Then there are some people on the no-no-list, like exes or enemies.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Anne: Is it a poly relationship or open?<\/p><p>Em: \u201cI think a poly relationship would be less hierarchical, with multiple equal girlfriends. In mine, we really come first. It\u2019s not like we need to be with someone else, but it\u2019s nice to have the option. We\u2019re both very flirty people. I remember the Halloween party of Erasmus Pride, and I think I kissed thirty people in one night. She was there and just said: you go girl!\u201d<\/p><p>Stefano (laughs): That\u2019s a lot of points for the ranking.<\/p>\n\t<div data-name=\"acf\/quote\" class=\"align\" >\n\t\t<div class=\"\">\n\t\t\t<figure data-component=\"quote-with-author\" class=\"@container\">\n\t<blockquote class=\"text-md italic @2xl:text-xl @4xl:text-2xl text-purple\">\n\t\t\u2018I remember the Halloween party of Erasmus Pride, and I think I kissed thirty people in one night\u2019\n\t<\/blockquote>\n\n\t\t\t<figcaption class=\"flex mt-6 image:rounded-full image:max-w-[4.375rem] gap-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"mt-[1px]\">&ndash;<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"block text-lg font-tiempos-headline\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tEm\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/figcaption>\n\t<\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<p><strong>Elmer: Do you tell each other everything that happens?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Em: \u201cYes, whenever we see someone cute, we tell each other about it when we come home. We both know who we find attractive. We did have a situation where I was at a party and I was talking to this girl, and it came across as if I was flirting with her. I did not realise that was going to hurt her, but it did. And we immediately sat down, because I wanted to talk so I wouldn\u2019t do it again. Boundaries are going to be different for every person you meet. That\u2019s why communication is very important, we talk all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Feba: Did you have to come out to your parents?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Anne: \u201cI was raised pretty open-minded. They always said: you can always bring your boyfriend <em>or your girlfriend!<\/em> And I was wondering, what do they know that I don\u2019t? But they were kind of right in the end. I do think they have a slight preference for me marrying a man and getting two children, which is the exact opposite of how I see my future. I sometimes feel like I\u2019m letting them down. However, I have a sister who is very much looking forward to the future that they want, at least they can be grandparents, and I can be the aunt.\u201d<\/p>\n<div data-component=core\/image><figure data-wp-context=\"{&quot;imageId&quot;:&quot;69eb4e79196ee&quot;}\" data-wp-interactive=\"core\/image\" data-wp-key=\"69eb4e79196ee\" class=\"wp-block-image alignleft size-thumbnail is-resized wp-lightbox-container\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"211\" data-wp-class--hide=\"state.isContentHidden\" data-wp-class--show=\"state.isContentVisible\" data-wp-init=\"callbacks.setButtonStyles\" data-wp-on--click=\"actions.showLightbox\" data-wp-on--load=\"callbacks.setButtonStyles\" data-wp-on-window--resize=\"callbacks.setButtonStyles\" src=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/13153313\/love-lab-valentijn-experimenteren-flesje-Femke-Legue-300x211.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-150377\" 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https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/13153313\/love-lab-valentijn-experimenteren-flesje-Femke-Legue-2048x1444.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 2048w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/13153313\/love-lab-valentijn-experimenteren-flesje-Femke-Legue-150x106.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 150w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/13153313\/love-lab-valentijn-experimenteren-flesje-Femke-Legue-225x159.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 225w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><button\n\t\t\tclass=\"lightbox-trigger\"\n\t\t\ttype=\"button\"\n\t\t\taria-haspopup=\"dialog\"\n\t\t\taria-label=\"Enlarge\"\n\t\t\tdata-wp-init=\"callbacks.initTriggerButton\"\n\t\t\tdata-wp-on--click=\"actions.showLightbox\"\n\t\t\tdata-wp-style--right=\"state.imageButtonRight\"\n\t\t\tdata-wp-style--top=\"state.imageButtonTop\"\n\t\t>\n\t\t\t<svg 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2.48705 19.169 2.90901 19.591C3.33097 20.0129 3.90326 20.25 4.5 20.25H19.5C20.0967 20.25 20.669 20.0129 21.091 19.591C21.5129 19.169 21.75 18.5967 21.75 18V7.5C21.75 6.90326 21.5129 6.33097 21.091 5.90901C20.669 5.48705 20.0967 5.25 19.5 5.25ZM15.375 12.375C15.375 13.0425 15.1771 13.695 14.8062 14.25C14.4354 14.8051 13.9083 15.2376 13.2916 15.4931C12.6749 15.7485 11.9963 15.8154 11.3416 15.6852C10.6869 15.5549 10.0855 15.2335 9.61351 14.7615C9.14151 14.2895 8.82007 13.6881 8.68985 13.0334C8.55962 12.3787 8.62646 11.7001 8.88191 11.0834C9.13735 10.4667 9.56993 9.93964 10.125 9.56879C10.68 9.19794 11.3325 9 12 9C12.8951 9 13.7535 9.35558 14.3865 9.98851C15.0194 10.6214 15.375 11.4799 15.375 12.375Z\" fill=\"currentColor\"\/>\n<\/svg>\n<\/span>\n\t<span class=\"sr-only\">Image by:<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t<span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/persons\/femke-legue\/\" class=\"underline hocus:no-underline decoration-1 underline-offset-2\">Femke Legu\u00e9<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div><p>Joost: I know they\u2019d be okay with it, I haven\u2019t told them yet because I haven\u2019t had a relationship with a man. If that happens, I\u2019ll tell them and everything will be fine.<\/p><p>Stefano: \u201cI don\u2019t talk to my parents about relationships at all, especially not regarding my sexuality. They\u2019re not homophobic, but they make comments that make me feel like I don\u2019t want to poke the bear. Once I made a TikTok video, in the trend where you can decide which of two celebrities you think is the best looking. You have a male and a female version. So I did both, because well\u2026 I wanted to do it! I just thought it was funny. And then, my nephew and niece both went to my little sister, and asked, is Stefano gay? My sister knows me exactly, she said: that\u2019s just how he is.\u201d<\/p><p><strong>Elmer: Who did you think was the most handsome male celeb?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Stefano: \u201cFirst it was Chris Hemsworth, then James Franco showed up and he beat everybody. Some friends were disappointed I chose him over Andrew Garfield.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Elmer: Does your sister know more about your sexuality, like you trying to date a man?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Stefano: \u201cI\u2019m not sure what she knows exactly, but I think she does. She\u2019s quite religious, so she doesn\u2019t quite approve of gay relationships. However, we have a strong bond, so if I was, I know she would accept it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t<div data-name=\"acf\/quote\" class=\"align\" >\n\t\t<div class=\"\">\n\t\t\t<figure data-component=\"quote-with-author\" class=\"@container\">\n\t<blockquote class=\"text-md italic @2xl:text-xl @4xl:text-2xl text-purple\">\n\t\t\u2018I did get some comments that I can become a pain in the ass if I don\u2019t have sex for a while\u2019\n\t<\/blockquote>\n\n\t\t\t<figcaption class=\"flex mt-6 image:rounded-full image:max-w-[4.375rem] gap-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"mt-[1px]\">&ndash;<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"block text-lg font-tiempos-headline\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tAnne\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/figcaption>\n\t<\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<p><strong>Feba: How important is dating life for you guys?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Joost: \u201cI have the dating apps, but I mostly use them for mindless scrolling. It\u2019s always something you have in your mind though, when you go out for example. But looking for \u2018the one\u2019 is not something I believe in.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Anne: \u201cI\u2019m very happy on my own, and I\u2019ve been learning the past year how to be single. I did get some comments that I can become a pain in the ass if I don\u2019t have sex for a while (laughs out loud). I\u2019ve had a time I wasn\u2019t very active by choice, but people started to notice. But I like the intimacy, the tension, and that\u2019s not always what other people are looking for. I can go without sex, but I prefer to be in a situation where I\u2019m able to date.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Elmer: Are you looking for sex or also for companionship?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Anne: \u201cI prefer not to have one-night stands, companionship sounds a bit too much but I prefer someone I could see more often, to build up that intimacy and have a little bit of connection. To watch a series, cook together or play a game. But not actually be together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Joost: \u201cHonestly, after I\u2019ve had sex with someone and I\u2019m sleeping there, then at 4 am I sometimes think: I could still go home now. Sometimes it feels very uncomfortable to wake up and hear someone say: good morning! Would you like some breakfast? No thanks! Otherwise it can so quickly turn into this whole thing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t<div data-name=\"acf\/quote\" class=\"align\" >\n\t\t<div class=\"\">\n\t\t\t<figure data-component=\"quote-with-author\" class=\"@container\">\n\t<blockquote class=\"text-md italic @2xl:text-xl @4xl:text-2xl text-purple\">\n\t\t\u2018When I\u2019ve had sex with someone and I\u2019m sleeping there, then at 4 am I sometimes think: I could still go home now\u2019\n\t<\/blockquote>\n\n\t\t\t<figcaption class=\"flex mt-6 image:rounded-full image:max-w-[4.375rem] gap-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"mt-[1px]\">&ndash;<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"block text-lg font-tiempos-headline\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tJoost\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/figcaption>\n\t<\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<p><strong>Feba: Fast forward fifteen years from now, how do you see yourself? Are you still exploring or living in a house with two kids?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Em: \u201cI feel already kind of settled down. Maybe weird to say if you\u2019re in a non-monogamous relationship. But it\u2019s relatively stable. For me, the line between platonic and romantic is blurred, so I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll ever have just one connection with one person. I have different people for different purposes. Oh, that sounds horrible but it\u2019s not like that. I have very good friends I\u2019ll discuss <em>everything<\/em> with, and then I have people that are just for sex, and others are for both.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Anne: \u201cI don\u2019t see myself in a closed relationship, but you never know. I also don\u2019t need to be in a relationship. I aspire to be that rich aunt that\u2019s always on holiday, no one knows what she does in life but she comes back with the best conversations for her nieces. We\u2019ll see.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t<div data-name=\"acf\/posts-list\" >\n\t\t\n\t\t<div class=\"space-y-6 md:space-y-8\">\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"text-lg md:text-xl\">Read more<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<ul class=\"grid items-strecth grid-cols-1 gap-2 md:gap-4 lg:gap-8\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"@container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n<div data-component=\"teaser-post-small\" class=\"block-theme-mocha  relative flex h-full bg-sand-300\n\tblock-theme-violet:bg-white block-theme-violet:text-purple block-theme-mocha:bg-sand-500 block-theme-mocha:text-brown\n\tblock-theme-sand:bg-sand-300 block-theme-sand:text-neutral-900\n\tblock-theme-violet:outline-purple-100 block-theme-violet:outline-1 block-theme-violet:outline-t-0\n\ttheme-mocha:bg-white! theme-violet:bg-white! theme-sand:bg-white!\n\tflex-row gap-4 @md:gap-8 p-4 @md:p-6\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"image:w-full image:aspect-square image:object-cover shrink-0 size-17.5 @sm:size-21.25 @md:size-30 @lg:size-40\">\n\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"460\" height=\"307\" src=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/10163040\/Ilse-en-haar-vriend-voor-de-liefdesreeks-Valentijn-2023-2.jpeg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315\" class=\"attachment-square_lg size-square_lg\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/10163040\/Ilse-en-haar-vriend-voor-de-liefdesreeks-Valentijn-2023-2.jpeg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 2000w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/10163040\/Ilse-en-haar-vriend-voor-de-liefdesreeks-Valentijn-2023-2-875x584.jpeg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 875w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/10163040\/Ilse-en-haar-vriend-voor-de-liefdesreeks-Valentijn-2023-2-1600x1068.jpeg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 1600w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/10163040\/Ilse-en-haar-vriend-voor-de-liefdesreeks-Valentijn-2023-2-300x200.jpeg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 300w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/10163040\/Ilse-en-haar-vriend-voor-de-liefdesreeks-Valentijn-2023-2-1280x854.jpeg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 1280w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/10163040\/Ilse-en-haar-vriend-voor-de-liefdesreeks-Valentijn-2023-2-1536x1025.jpeg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 1536w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/10163040\/Ilse-en-haar-vriend-voor-de-liefdesreeks-Valentijn-2023-2-150x100.jpeg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 150w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/02\/10163040\/Ilse-en-haar-vriend-voor-de-liefdesreeks-Valentijn-2023-2-225x150.jpeg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1766139315 225w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 460px) 100vw, 460px\" \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\n\t<div class=\"flex flex-col gap-2 md:gap-4 \">\n\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"text-md @lg:text-lg\">\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2023\/02\/11\/love-is-in-the-eur-he-has-a-good-looking-hairdresser-and-ive-learned-a-new-skill\/\" class=\"absolute-link text-current hocus:underline inline-block\">\n\t\t\t\t\u2018He has a good-looking hairdresser, and I&#8217;ve learned a new skill\u2019\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h3>\n\n\t\t<div class=\"flex flex-wrap gap-4 items-center\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"sr-only\">Gepubliceerd op:<\/span>\n\t\t\t<time class=\"text-sm font-soehne text-neutral-900\" datetime=\"2023-02-11\">11 February 2023<\/time>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t<ul data-component=\"list-badges\" class=\"flex items-center gap-2 flex-wrap\" aria-label=\"Geplaatst in categorie\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div data-component=\"badge\" class=\"block-theme-violet:bg-purple font-soehne font-bold text-sm bg-brown-600 block-theme-violet:bg-purple text-white py-[2px] px-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\tLove is in the EUR\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n\n\t<div data-name=\"acf\/persons\" class=\"mt-6 md:mt-8 lg:mt-10\" >\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"sr-only\">De redactie<\/h2>\n\t\t\n\t\t<div class=\"space-y-6\">\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<ul class=\"grid grid-cols-1 md:grid-cols-2 gap-4 md:gap-8 md:items-center\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div data-component=\"teaser-person\" class=\"relative flex gap-4 items-center md:gap-8\">\n\n\t\t\t<span class=\"image:rounded-full image:size-20 image:aspect-square image:object-cover md:image:size-36 shrink-0\">\n\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1600\" src=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Feba-Sukmana_profielfoto-bol_2_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-1600x1600.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1770909014\" class=\"attachment-large size-large\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Feba-Sukmana_profielfoto-bol_2_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-1600x1600.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1770909014 1600w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Feba-Sukmana_profielfoto-bol_2_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-875x875.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1770909014 875w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Feba-Sukmana_profielfoto-bol_2_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-300x300.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1770909014 300w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Feba-Sukmana_profielfoto-bol_2_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-1280x1280.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1770909014 1280w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Feba-Sukmana_profielfoto-bol_2_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-1536x1536.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1770909014 1536w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Feba-Sukmana_profielfoto-bol_2_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-2048x2048.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1770909014 2048w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Feba-Sukmana_profielfoto-bol_2_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-115x115.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1770909014 115w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Feba-Sukmana_profielfoto-bol_2_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-230x230.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1770909014 230w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Feba-Sukmana_profielfoto-bol_2_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-460x460.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1770909014 460w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1600px) 100vw, 1600px\" \/>\n\t\t<\/span>\n\t\n\t<div>\n\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/persons\/feba-sukmana\/\" class=\"absolute-link font-tiempos-headline underline hocus:no-underline decoration-1 underline-offset-2 text-lg text-current\">Feba Sukmana<\/a>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"text-md\">Editor<\/p>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div data-component=\"teaser-person\" class=\"relative flex gap-4 items-center md:gap-8\">\n\n\t\t\t<span class=\"image:rounded-full image:size-20 image:aspect-square image:object-cover md:image:size-36 shrink-0\">\n\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1600\" src=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Elmer-Smaling_profielfoto-bol_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-1600x1600.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1768313247\" class=\"attachment-large size-large\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Elmer-Smaling_profielfoto-bol_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-1600x1600.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1768313247 1600w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Elmer-Smaling_profielfoto-bol_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-875x875.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1768313247 875w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Elmer-Smaling_profielfoto-bol_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-300x300.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1768313247 300w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Elmer-Smaling_profielfoto-bol_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-1280x1280.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1768313247 1280w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Elmer-Smaling_profielfoto-bol_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-1536x1536.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1768313247 1536w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/Elmer-Smaling_profielfoto-bol_Leroy-Verbeet-2026-2048x2048.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1768313247 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1600px) 100vw, 1600px\" \/>\n\t\t<\/span>\n\t\n\t<div>\n\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/persons\/elmer-smaling\/\" class=\"absolute-link font-tiempos-headline underline hocus:no-underline decoration-1 underline-offset-2 text-lg text-current\">Elmer Smaling<\/a>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"text-md\">Deputy editor-in-chief<\/p>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n\n\t<div data-name=\"acf\/posts\" class=\"alignfull py-6 md:py-8 lg:py-10 bg-white\" >\n\t\t<div class=\"container-fixed\">\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<div class=\"space-y-6 md:space-y-8\">\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"text-xl md:text-2xl\">Latest news<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t<ul data-component=\"post-grid\" class=\"grid items-stretch grid-cols-1 gap-2 md:gap-4 lg:gap-8 text-zoom-lg:grid-cols-1\n\t\t\n\t\tlg:grid-cols-3\n\t\t\">\n\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<li class=\"@container\">\n\t\t\t\t\n<div data-component=\"teaser-post\" class=\"block-theme-sand hidden lg:flex h-full relative flex bg-sand-300\n\tblock-theme-violet:bg-white block-theme-violet:text-purple block-theme-mocha:bg-sand-500 block-theme-mocha:text-brown\n\tblock-theme-sand:bg-sand-300 block-theme-sand:text-neutral-900\n\tblock-theme-violet:outline-purple-100 block-theme-violet:outline-1 block-theme-violet:outline-t-0\n\tflex-col @xl:flex-row\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"relative image:w-full image:aspect-video image:object-cover shrink-0 w-full @xl:w-1\/2\">\n\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1280\" height=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/server-1235959_1920-1280x720.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1777012514\" class=\"attachment-video_xl size-video_xl\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/server-1235959_1920-1280x720.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1777012514 1280w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/server-1235959_1920-500x282.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1777012514 500w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/server-1235959_1920-832x468.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1777012514 832w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1280px) 100vw, 1280px\" \/>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\n\t<div class=\"flex flex-col gap-2 md:gap-4 p-4 @md:p-8 @xl:p-8 \">\n\n\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"text-md @sm:text-xl @md:text-2xl @xl:text-2xl\">\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2026\/04\/24\/aivd-blijft-waarschuwen-voor-diefstal-van-kennis\/\" class=\"absolute-link text-current underline-offset-2 decoration-2 hocus:underline @md:decoration-3 @xl:decoration-4 inline-block\">\n\t\t\t\tAIVD continues to warn about knowledge theft\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h3>\n\n\t\t<div class=\"flex flex-wrap gap-4 items-center\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"sr-only\">Gepubliceerd op:<\/span>\n\t\t\t<time class=\"text-sm font-soehne text-neutral-900\" datetime=\"2026-04-24\">24 April 2026<\/time>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t<ul data-component=\"list-badges\" class=\"flex items-center gap-2 flex-wrap\" aria-label=\"Geplaatst in categorie\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div data-component=\"badge\" class=\"block-theme-violet:bg-purple font-soehne font-bold text-sm bg-brown-600 block-theme-violet:bg-purple text-white py-[2px] px-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\tIT\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n<div data-component=\"teaser-post-small\" class=\"block-theme-sand lg:hidden relative flex h-full bg-sand-300\n\tblock-theme-violet:bg-white block-theme-violet:text-purple block-theme-mocha:bg-sand-500 block-theme-mocha:text-brown\n\tblock-theme-sand:bg-sand-300 block-theme-sand:text-neutral-900\n\tblock-theme-violet:outline-purple-100 block-theme-violet:outline-1 block-theme-violet:outline-t-0\n\ttheme-mocha:bg-white! theme-violet:bg-white! theme-sand:bg-white!\n\tflex-row gap-4 @md:gap-8 p-4 @md:p-6\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"image:w-full image:aspect-square image:object-cover shrink-0 size-17.5 @sm:size-21.25 @md:size-30 @lg:size-40\">\n\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"460\" height=\"460\" src=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/server-1235959_1920-460x460.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1777012514\" class=\"attachment-square_lg size-square_lg\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/server-1235959_1920-460x460.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1777012514 460w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/server-1235959_1920-115x115.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1777012514 115w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/server-1235959_1920-230x230.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1777012514 230w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 460px) 100vw, 460px\" \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\n\t<div class=\"flex flex-col gap-2 md:gap-4 \">\n\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"text-md @lg:text-lg\">\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2026\/04\/24\/aivd-blijft-waarschuwen-voor-diefstal-van-kennis\/\" class=\"absolute-link text-current hocus:underline inline-block\">\n\t\t\t\tAIVD continues to warn about knowledge theft\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h3>\n\n\t\t<div class=\"flex flex-wrap gap-4 items-center\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"sr-only\">Gepubliceerd op:<\/span>\n\t\t\t<time class=\"text-sm font-soehne text-neutral-900\" datetime=\"2026-04-24\">24 April 2026<\/time>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t<ul data-component=\"list-badges\" class=\"flex items-center gap-2 flex-wrap\" aria-label=\"Geplaatst in categorie\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div data-component=\"badge\" class=\"block-theme-violet:bg-purple font-soehne font-bold text-sm bg-brown-600 block-theme-violet:bg-purple text-white py-[2px] px-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\tIT\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<li class=\"@container\">\n\t\t\t\t\n<div data-component=\"teaser-post\" class=\"block-theme-sand hidden lg:flex h-full relative flex bg-sand-300\n\tblock-theme-violet:bg-white block-theme-violet:text-purple block-theme-mocha:bg-sand-500 block-theme-mocha:text-brown\n\tblock-theme-sand:bg-sand-300 block-theme-sand:text-neutral-900\n\tblock-theme-violet:outline-purple-100 block-theme-violet:outline-1 block-theme-violet:outline-t-0\n\tflex-col @xl:flex-row\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"relative image:w-full image:aspect-video image:object-cover shrink-0 w-full @xl:w-1\/2\">\n\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1280\" height=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/IMG_6002-1280x720.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776958636\" class=\"attachment-video_xl size-video_xl\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/IMG_6002-1280x720.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776958636 1280w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/IMG_6002-500x282.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776958636 500w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/IMG_6002-832x468.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776958636 832w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1280px) 100vw, 1280px\" \/>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\n\t<div class=\"flex flex-col gap-2 md:gap-4 p-4 @md:p-8 @xl:p-8 \">\n\n\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"text-md @sm:text-xl @md:text-2xl @xl:text-2xl\">\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2026\/04\/23\/gesprongen-waterleiding-zorgt-voor-nodige-problemen-op-de-campus\/\" class=\"absolute-link text-current underline-offset-2 decoration-2 hocus:underline @md:decoration-3 @xl:decoration-4 inline-block\">\n\t\t\t\tBurst water pipe causes considerable problems on campus\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h3>\n\n\t\t<div class=\"flex flex-wrap gap-4 items-center\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"sr-only\">Gepubliceerd op:<\/span>\n\t\t\t<time class=\"text-sm font-soehne text-neutral-900\" datetime=\"2026-04-23\">23 April 2026<\/time>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t<ul data-component=\"list-badges\" class=\"flex items-center gap-2 flex-wrap\" aria-label=\"Geplaatst in categorie\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div data-component=\"badge\" class=\"block-theme-violet:bg-purple font-soehne font-bold text-sm bg-brown-600 block-theme-violet:bg-purple text-white py-[2px] px-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\tCampus\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n<div data-component=\"teaser-post-small\" class=\"block-theme-sand lg:hidden relative flex h-full bg-sand-300\n\tblock-theme-violet:bg-white block-theme-violet:text-purple block-theme-mocha:bg-sand-500 block-theme-mocha:text-brown\n\tblock-theme-sand:bg-sand-300 block-theme-sand:text-neutral-900\n\tblock-theme-violet:outline-purple-100 block-theme-violet:outline-1 block-theme-violet:outline-t-0\n\ttheme-mocha:bg-white! theme-violet:bg-white! theme-sand:bg-white!\n\tflex-row gap-4 @md:gap-8 p-4 @md:p-6\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"image:w-full image:aspect-square image:object-cover shrink-0 size-17.5 @sm:size-21.25 @md:size-30 @lg:size-40\">\n\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"460\" height=\"460\" src=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/IMG_6002-460x460.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776958636\" class=\"attachment-square_lg size-square_lg\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/IMG_6002-460x460.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776958636 460w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/IMG_6002-115x115.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776958636 115w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/IMG_6002-230x230.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776958636 230w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 460px) 100vw, 460px\" \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\n\t<div class=\"flex flex-col gap-2 md:gap-4 \">\n\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"text-md @lg:text-lg\">\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2026\/04\/23\/gesprongen-waterleiding-zorgt-voor-nodige-problemen-op-de-campus\/\" class=\"absolute-link text-current hocus:underline inline-block\">\n\t\t\t\tBurst water pipe causes considerable problems on campus\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h3>\n\n\t\t<div class=\"flex flex-wrap gap-4 items-center\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"sr-only\">Gepubliceerd op:<\/span>\n\t\t\t<time class=\"text-sm font-soehne text-neutral-900\" datetime=\"2026-04-23\">23 April 2026<\/time>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t<ul data-component=\"list-badges\" class=\"flex items-center gap-2 flex-wrap\" aria-label=\"Geplaatst in categorie\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div data-component=\"badge\" class=\"block-theme-violet:bg-purple font-soehne font-bold text-sm bg-brown-600 block-theme-violet:bg-purple text-white py-[2px] px-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\tCampus\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<li class=\"@container\">\n\t\t\t\t\n<div data-component=\"teaser-post\" class=\"block-theme-mocha hidden lg:flex h-full relative flex bg-sand-300\n\tblock-theme-violet:bg-white block-theme-violet:text-purple block-theme-mocha:bg-sand-500 block-theme-mocha:text-brown\n\tblock-theme-sand:bg-sand-300 block-theme-sand:text-neutral-900\n\tblock-theme-violet:outline-purple-100 block-theme-violet:outline-1 block-theme-violet:outline-t-0\n\tflex-col @xl:flex-row\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"relative image:w-full image:aspect-video image:object-cover shrink-0 w-full @xl:w-1\/2\">\n\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1280\" height=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/20260422_report_bookrestoration_Poetspaleis_Thumbnail_LarisaWedel-1280x720.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776933770\" class=\"attachment-video_xl size-video_xl\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/20260422_report_bookrestoration_Poetspaleis_Thumbnail_LarisaWedel-1280x720.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776933770 1280w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/20260422_report_bookrestoration_Poetspaleis_Thumbnail_LarisaWedel-500x282.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776933770 500w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/20260422_report_bookrestoration_Poetspaleis_Thumbnail_LarisaWedel-832x468.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776933770 832w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1280px) 100vw, 1280px\" \/>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"@xl:hidden absolute -bottom-9 @md:-bottom-12 right-0 bg-brown text-white aspect-square size-9 block-theme-violet:bg-purple grid place-content-center @md:size-12 svg:size-4 @md:svg:size-6 @xl:svg:size-6\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<svg width=\"18\" height=\"20\" viewBox=\"0 0 18 20\" fill=\"none\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\">\n<path d=\"M17.25 9.99998C17.2506 10.2546 17.1853 10.5051 17.0605 10.727C16.9356 10.949 16.7555 11.1348 16.5375 11.2665L3.03 19.5297C2.80227 19.6691 2.54144 19.7452 2.27445 19.7502C2.00746 19.7551 1.74399 19.6887 1.51125 19.5578C1.28073 19.4289 1.0887 19.2409 0.954904 19.0132C0.821111 18.7855 0.750385 18.5263 0.75 18.2622V1.73779C0.750385 1.47368 0.821111 1.21445 0.954904 0.986734C1.0887 0.759022 1.28073 0.571057 1.51125 0.442167C1.74399 0.311244 2.00746 0.244825 2.27445 0.249769C2.54144 0.254713 2.80227 0.330842 3.03 0.470292L16.5375 8.73342C16.7555 8.86511 16.9356 9.05097 17.0605 9.27291C17.1853 9.49485 17.2506 9.74533 17.25 9.99998Z\" fill=\"currentColor\"\/>\n<\/svg>\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\n\t<div class=\"flex flex-col gap-2 md:gap-4 p-4 @md:p-8 @xl:p-8 pr-11 @md:pr-12 @xl:pr-12\">\n\n\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"text-md @sm:text-xl @md:text-2xl @xl:text-2xl\">\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2026\/04\/23\/oude-boeken-krijgen-een-nieuw-leven-een-kijkje-in-het-poetspaleis\/\" class=\"absolute-link text-current underline-offset-2 decoration-2 hocus:underline @md:decoration-3 @xl:decoration-4 inline-block\">\n\t\t\t\tOld books get a new lease of life: a look inside the poetspaleis\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h3>\n\n\t\t<div class=\"flex flex-wrap gap-4 items-center\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"sr-only\">Gepubliceerd op:<\/span>\n\t\t\t<time class=\"text-sm font-soehne text-neutral-900\" datetime=\"2026-04-23\">23 April 2026<\/time>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t<ul data-component=\"list-badges\" class=\"flex items-center gap-2 flex-wrap\" aria-label=\"Geplaatst in categorie\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div data-component=\"badge\" class=\"block-theme-violet:bg-purple font-soehne font-bold text-sm bg-brown-600 block-theme-violet:bg-purple text-white py-[2px] px-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\tEM TV\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"sr-only\">Article type: Video<\/span>\n\t\t\t<span class=\"hidden @xl:grid absolute top-0 right-0 bg-brown text-white aspect-square block-theme-violet:bg-purple place-content-center size-12 svg:size-6\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t<svg width=\"18\" height=\"20\" viewBox=\"0 0 18 20\" fill=\"none\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\">\n<path d=\"M17.25 9.99998C17.2506 10.2546 17.1853 10.5051 17.0605 10.727C16.9356 10.949 16.7555 11.1348 16.5375 11.2665L3.03 19.5297C2.80227 19.6691 2.54144 19.7452 2.27445 19.7502C2.00746 19.7551 1.74399 19.6887 1.51125 19.5578C1.28073 19.4289 1.0887 19.2409 0.954904 19.0132C0.821111 18.7855 0.750385 18.5263 0.75 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image:object-cover shrink-0 size-17.5 @sm:size-21.25 @md:size-30 @lg:size-40\">\n\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"460\" height=\"460\" src=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/20260422_report_bookrestoration_Poetspaleis_Thumbnail_LarisaWedel-460x460.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776933770\" class=\"attachment-square_lg size-square_lg\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/20260422_report_bookrestoration_Poetspaleis_Thumbnail_LarisaWedel-460x460.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776933770 460w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/20260422_report_bookrestoration_Poetspaleis_Thumbnail_LarisaWedel-115x115.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776933770 115w, https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/20260422_report_bookrestoration_Poetspaleis_Thumbnail_LarisaWedel-230x230.jpg?image-crop-positioner-ts=1776933770 230w\" sizes=\"auto, 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Navigating dating apps, stages of relationships and the etiquette of gender-fluid love. How do students cope with that? Four students gathered in the Erasmus Love Lab, basically a living room with couches, chairs, heart-shaped pillows and dimmed purple lighting, to explain to two aging reporters that there [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":150376,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_trash_the_other_posts":false,"editor_notices":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[23166],"em_content_type":[24779],"class_list":["post-150421","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-is-in-the-eur","em_content_type-rubriek"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>An open conversation with students about flirting, fluid love and friends with benefits<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Love and relationships sometimes seem so complicated nowadays. 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