{"id":148828,"date":"2023-01-18T14:09:10","date_gmt":"2023-01-18T13:09:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/?p=148828"},"modified":"2025-12-19T11:26:36","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T10:26:36","slug":"the-only-way-i-can-defeat-chaos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2023\/01\/18\/the-only-way-i-can-defeat-chaos\/","title":{"rendered":"The only way I can defeat chaos"},"content":{"rendered":"

During Christmas, I skimmed through Angela Duckworth’s book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance<\/em>. In the book, she mentions that studies show that what predicts a person’s success in life is not talent; it’s perseverance and passion. Apparently, the people that make it in life are the ones who put all their energy into doing a perfect job yet don’t emotionally crack under pressure.<\/p>\n

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\n\t\n\n<\/svg>\n<\/span>\n\tImage by:<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tLevien Willemse<\/a>, \t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tPauline Wiersema<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>

Even though I dislike neglecting science with anecdotes, I couldn\u2019t help but feel bitter when a personality assessment I did for a job said that my main weakness was resilience, the cousin of perseverance.<\/p>\n

My anger stems from the fact that companies seem to want two different people in one. They want a hard-working perfectionist who doesn\u2019t let any detail go unnoticed and always delivers on time. In other words, a control freak. On the other hand, they also want a laissez-faire entropy worshiper who is never stressed out but thrives in an unpredictable environment. A Buddhist surfer. Before gene manipulation becomes mainstream, I can\u2019t help to find these demands a tad na\u00efve. It\u2019s like the 21st-century corporate version of the Madonna and the whore dichotomy. Pick one, Procter and Gamble!<\/p>\n\n\t

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\n\t\t\u2018Life will not always respect the plan I\u2019ve carefully written in my Leuchtturm 1917 Notebook\u2019\n\t<\/blockquote>\n\n\t<\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n

I must accept that Angela Duckworth has a point. As a control freak, I hate to admit it, but life will not always respect the plan I\u2019ve carefully written in my Leuchtturm 1917 Notebook. If I do not become more resilient and learn how to bend without breaking, I may never get an internship, and then life will lose all its meaning. Yet, I cannot lie in interviews and say:<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I thrive in environments where I can never finish the tasks I\u2019m paid to do because I just got another \u2018EMERGENCY\u2019 email, and I haven\u2019t even finished my three other \u2018EMERGENCY\u2019 cases yet!\u201d<\/p>\n

But maybe there\u2019s a middle way. It\u2019s hard for a control freak to change her initial fearful response when uncertainty bangs on the door. However, as Viktor Frankl says: \u201cBetween the stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space lies our freedom and power to choose our responses.\u201d 2023 might be the year I should try filling that space with resilience. It seems to be the only way I can finally defeat chaos.<\/p>\n\t

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Columnist Dora Tolstoy will finish her master’s degree in International Management this year, but is not sure what she wants to do next. Every month, she writes about that struggle.<\/p>\n\n\t<\/div>\n\n\t

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Read more<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t