{"id":130967,"date":"2021-10-11T11:56:23","date_gmt":"2021-10-11T09:56:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/?p=130967"},"modified":"2025-12-19T11:25:54","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T10:25:54","slug":"will-i-be-ok-out-in-the-world-audrey-wondered-after-she-was-diagnosed-with-autism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2021\/10\/11\/will-i-be-ok-out-in-the-world-audrey-wondered-after-she-was-diagnosed-with-autism\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Will I be OK out in the world\u2019, Audrey wondered after she was diagnosed with autism"},"content":{"rendered":"

The tests she took at age fifteen were not conclusive. However, her parents\u2019 and teachers\u2019 stories \u2018showed very clearly that I\u2019m autistic\u2019, says Audrey Ng-a-Tham. There was a time when she did not believe she had a future ahead of her, let alone that she\u2019d be able to get through a degree programme. So obviously, she was ecstatic when she successfully passed her first year at uni.<\/p>\n

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\n\t\n\n<\/svg>\n<\/span>\n\tImage by:<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tRonald van den Heerik<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>

\u201cI live in Spain, but the \u2018s\u2019 is silent\u201d, Audrey, 22, says jokingly when she tells us about the amount of reading she has to do for her International Bachelor\u2019s degree in Arts and Culture<\/em>\u00a0Studies. \u201cBut I\u2019m putting up with it, because I like my studies and when it comes down to it, all the reading materials are actually quite interesting.\u201d Last month she embarked on her second year. \u201cWhen I received my final pass mark last academic year, I couldn\u2019t believe it was happening! I called my mother to ask her if it was real.\u201d<\/p>\n

The diagnosis<\/h2>

\u201cAutism manifests differently in every individual\u201d, Audrey explains. \u201cQuiet girls are generally regarded as \u2018a little shy but otherwise normal\u2019. When I was fifteen, I took a test, which wasn\u2019t conclusive either way. Because of my intelligence and experiences, I could \u2018compensate\u2019 for my autism. I knew the \u2018right\u2019 answers, even though I did not experience the world in the way I indicated on the tests. But my parents\u2019 and teachers\u2019 stories showed very clearly that I\u2019m autistic.\u201d<\/p>\n

For instance, Audrey used to spend a lot of break times on her own, rather than hanging out with her classmates. She found the other pupils too loud. \u201cMy mother would often call my school on Mondays to say I was sick, because a weekend wasn\u2019t long enough for me to recover from all those stimuli.\u201d<\/p>\n

Depression<\/h2>

Even though her parents are always there for her, Audrey felt very lonely prior to her diagnosis \u2013 so lonely that she came to suffer from depression. \u201cI didn\u2019t understand the world, and the world didn\u2019t understand me. I was bullied, and my only friends were the couple of kids who did treat me like a normal human being. I was different, which got many of the other kids going. I felt like everyone had received a script on how to live \u2013 everyone except me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t

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\n\t\t\u2018I couldn\u2019t see a future for myself, which weighed heavy on my mind. I kept wondering: is this life for me? Will I be OK out in the world?\u2019\n\t<\/blockquote>\n\n\t<\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n

After she was diagnosed, Audrey was given the counselling she badly needed, as well as help understanding her autism. \u201cI was glad to know what was wrong with me, but I didn\u2019t understand what it meant. How does it manifest? What do I need to take into account? They helped me understand all those things.\u201d<\/p>\n

Things did not immediately change for the better once she had been diagnosed. It took years for her to start feeling better, and during those years, she was having a rough time of it. \u201cI never tried to kill myself, but I definitely thought of it. I couldn\u2019t see a future for myself, which weighed heavy on my mind. I kept wondering: is this life for me? Will I be OK out in the world?\u201d Medication, a lot of support and six years\u2019 therapy helped her, to the point where she\u2019s quite all right now.<\/p>\n

Study and support<\/h2>

\u201cI don\u2019t know how I would have managed without the support I was given by my secondary school.\u201d For instance, she was allowed to take her school-leaving examinations over the course of two years, rather than the usual one. The Ministry of Education initially did not allow this arrangement, but the school insisted. \u201cThey could tell that this was what I needed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Audrey chose to attend Erasmus University because she knew that the university would provide her with assistance. \u201cI did look at a few other universities, but the deciding factor was the Students with Functional Impairment Support Unit. Not all universities have such a unit. They assigned me a peer coach in my first year, who showed me what kind of problems I would run into and how to solve them. She also told me I could always message her, whenever I ran into a problem. I was also taught a course on how best to study, how best to read a text, that sort of thing. I may get overstimulated if I try to absorb a lot of information in a short period of time. If I hadn\u2019t received that help, I wouldn\u2019t have been able to see the forest for the trees.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t

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