{"id":113585,"date":"2020-05-15T14:19:17","date_gmt":"2020-05-15T12:19:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/?p=113585"},"modified":"2025-12-19T11:24:56","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T10:24:56","slug":"swiping-through-quarantine-we-might-see-a-rise-in-exclusive-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.erasmusmagazine.nl\/en\/2020\/05\/15\/swiping-through-quarantine-we-might-see-a-rise-in-exclusive-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Swiping through quarantine: \u2019We might see a rise in exclusive relationships\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

Elisabeth Timmermans is a postdoctoral researcher at Erasmus School of History, Culture and Communication who focuses on online dating. The COVID-19 pandemic has this \u2018Tinder expert\u2019 interested in video dating and sexting. “It might turn out that online dating will now be more about finding people to comfort you.”<\/p>\n

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\n\t\n\n<\/svg>\n<\/span>\n\tImage by:<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tBas van der Schot<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>

You have been conducting research on online dating during the corona crisis. What can you tell us about it?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201dNot much yet. We launched a survey about online dating and personal relationships. It\u2019s now closed and we\u2019re about to start analysing the data. I do have some predictions, even though I can\u2019t back them up with data right now. As a researcher, I must also say that these times are a research goldmine. It feels like an experiment and the whole world is exposed to it. These are extraordinary circumstances since the entire world is suddenly in the same boat, which hasn\u2019t really ever happened before.\u201d<\/p>\n

What intrigues you most about the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on online dating?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201dThe corona crisis made me really curious about video dating because it wasn\u2019t really a thing before, but now it seems that it is. I think that now that people are forced to video call for their work all the time, they are becoming more comfortable with using it for other social activities as well. In a time of not being able to meet other people face-to-face, having a date through a video call is a way to find out if people really are who they say they are. What do they sound like? How do they behave? Do we really have a connection? A lot of dating apps have also realised their users cannot meet face-to-face at the moment, and are now capitalising on it: Tinder and Happn, for instance, are now introducing features such as audio messages and video calling in the applications.<\/p>\n

\u201cI also wonder if the crisis has had an impact on the motives that people have for using dating apps now: for instance, if you previously used it to have sex you can\u2019t really do that anymore, except for sexting. Finding a romantic partner is also more difficult now, since you can\u2019t really meet people face-to-face. A possible outcome is that online dating will now be more about finding people to comfort you in this stressful period: perhaps we\u2019ll find completely new motivations for using a dating app during this unusual period of time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Our social contacts are definitely more limited now. Can dating apps help single people combat loneliness during quarantine?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI do think so, yes. Especially if you\u2019re a single person living by yourself, it might get really lonely and then a dating app could be the place you go to look for other single people to bond with, who are in the same situation.\u201d<\/p>\n

A lot of measures have been imposed that make dating quite difficult. Are users respecting the social distancing rules?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cI hope so, but I\u2019m afraid not everyone will. Of course, this depends on the situation in your country, and how concerned you are about the virus: if you feel like it can\u2019t touch you at all, then of course you engage more in risk-taking behaviour. With regards to sex, I\u2019ve heard people believe things like \u2018if you do it doggystyle you can\u2019t get infected\u2019, or \u2018if you don\u2019t kiss you can\u2019t get infected\u2019. Clearly this isn\u2019t very good advice; if you can get infected just by touching the same doorknob, I don\u2019t see how doggystyle is going to help you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t

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\n\t\t\u2018Video dating and sexting can change the way we experience intimacy, when we can\u2019t physically meet\u2019\n\t<\/blockquote>\n\n\t<\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n

So how do you hook up then, when you can\u2019t physically meet? Are we sexting more now?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI think we\u2019re definitely sexting more now. That\u2019s another interesting point to look at in research: have people who haven\u2019t sexted before, started sexting in quarantine? Perhaps they\u2019re feeling like \u2019well, I\u2019m horny but I don\u2019t really have another option, so let\u2019s just go for it\u2019. Or is it just the people who already had sexted previously? Video dating and sexting can change the way we experience intimacy, when we can\u2019t physically meet. So if you\u2019re horny in quarantine, it doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t have some sexual fun \u2013 there are still ways to do that, and sexting has the potential to fulfil sexual needs. You can still strip in front of each other through a video call like you would do in person, and people are definitely getting creative with this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Is quarantine the ultimate test for a romantic relationship?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI think the quarantine can really test your relationship, but I don\u2019t think it will make or break relationships. If you already had problems, you might struggle even worse during this quarantine. Or perhaps staying together 24\/7 will help you find each other again. But people are also acting differently now because it\u2019s an extraordinary situation after all, and you can\u2019t necessarily predict how you\u2019ll respond to it. Just because you have problems in your relationship during quarantine, that doesn\u2019t mean it won\u2019t work after it ends. At the same time, we have also seen divorce rates rise in Wuhan after their lockdown ended, so that\u2019s the other possibility.\u201d<\/p>\n

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\n\t\n\n<\/svg>\n<\/span>\n\tImage by:<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tBas van der Schot<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>

Thinking of dating apps such as Ashley Madison, which is an app primarily meant for people in a relationship that are looking for an affair, do you think the crisis stops people from cheating on their partners?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u201cThis is a question I have asked myself: how do people even manage to cheat when they\u2019re stuck in close quarters with their partner? Interestingly, during the corona crisis, websites like Ashley Madison<\/em> and the Dutch version Second Love<\/em> are seeing their membership increase, with more people being active on their platforms. So it seems that if you want to cheat, you will find a way to cheat and nothing is going to change that. But what is complicated is that if you find out that your partner has cheated on you, it is hard to manage it and respond to it when you\u2019re in quarantine together. You don\u2019t have your own space and you can\u2019t just kick the person out right now. You\u2019re stuck together for the time being, and that is difficult.\u201d<\/p>\n

What does the future look like for online dating after this crisis is over?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u201cI think the long-term effects of this crisis on online dating depend on how long it takes to overcome the crisis. It\u2019s too soon to argue that it\u2019s going to change the whole online dating culture when we are only seven weeks into lockdown. Nonetheless, if this situation drags on, I do think some things will change. We\u2019re already experiencing changes, and in terms of online dating one of the changes I predict is something that also happened during the AIDS epidemic of the 1990\u2019s: people engaged more in exclusive relationships when they were scared of catching the virus.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dBefore the coronavirus I talked to people who would go on possibly several dates in a week, but now I expect people to be less likely to do that if they realise that multiple human contacts are going to increase their risk of getting infected. So if you know that there\u2019s a risk of catching the virus, you might prioritise one match over others, and only go on a face-to-face date with that one person, instead of meeting everyone on your Tinder.\u201d<\/p>\n\t

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Elisabeth Timmermans is a postdoctoral researcher at Erasmus School of History, Culture and Communication, and the author of the book Liefde in tijden van Tinder<\/em>. Timmermans has been studying online dating for nearly six years, and she received her PhD from KU Leuven in 2017 for her research on this same topic. She also received the LEaDing Fellows scholarship for her postdoctoral research, and is currently conducting research on the impact of the coronavirus on online dating.<\/p>\n\n\t<\/div>\n\n\t

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