Naturally in this state of confusion, one will seek comfort and guidance from their friends and family, who’ll usually answer with:

“It will all be fine, stop worrying so much.”

Like okay, and who are you? Marcus Aurelius or something?

Hearing ‘it will be fine’ is like 2-in-1 shampoo. Theoretically it makes sense, but in practice, no one’s buying it except for maybe surfer dudes. If it were easy to stoically accept your faith and carry on with calm indifference to the course of your insignificant life, believe me, I would not be writing this column right now. I would be touring the world teaching rich housewives and celebrities how to do so, charging 1500 euros per healing session.

Genius business ideas aside, it’s not that I don’t accept the idea that things will be fine. I understand that this too shall pass. What the problem is for me and others like me, is that we would like to know exactly how it shall pass. What ten-step plan should we be following to move the ‘becoming fine’ project forward?

I asked my friend for this advice over a glass of wine when she told me the most earth-shattering insight ever.

“Maybe you don’t need to know how things will solve themselves. Maybe it’s okay to sometimes not know things.”

My whole body metamorphosed into a big Oprah moment, and I had to stop myself from spilling the wine on the carpet. That’s it, that’s the quarter life crisis all-in-one remedy. It’s not hearing that everything will be fine, it’s hearing that you don’t need to be the chief executive officer on the ‘becoming fine’ project. You can let God or some intern handle it.

Walking home that evening with a false sense of everlasting clarity, I wondered what I should do with this new-found wisdom.

Should I take this probably ancient philosophy, loosely translate it into modern day language by adding the F-word in every third sentence, and name the book something buzzwordy like:

Radical Ignorance or Why the Captain Should Leave the Ship First

Or should I just start small and begin by advising my lost friends:

“You don’t need to know how things will be fine, stop worrying so much.”

What do you think?

Dora Tolstoy columnist_nr4-Levien Willemse – Pauline Wiersema

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